CAW33 - A Beginning

Discussion in 'Calling All Writers - CAW 33' started by 1 Toy Maker, Mar 4, 2018.

  1. 1 Toy Maker

    1 Toy Maker Well-Known Member

    A Beginning




    He slowly blinked as the sun glared through the window, tears blurring his vision as the hangover pounded away to its own beat in his skull. Things just got worse as he tried to pull the covers up and roll over, there was someone in his bed with him, trapping the sheets, holding him in place. Thrashing around like a fish in a net he eventually managed to get some leeway and roll over. His bed mate had to be in even a worse state than him as she hadn't even groaned while he was wiggling around and and pulling the sheets out from under her. He didn't even recognise her, her skin had the light blue tones that all people developed after they had lived on Cassandra for a while, so she was a local.

    He wasn't a local, he had only been here for a month and it was already thirty days too long. He had been hired in on a six month contract from Sol to manage the design and erection of the new polyprop structure that was going to serve as the new improved docking station for the ever increasing number of arriving starliners. Cassandra was set to be dragged kicking and screaming into the 23 century whether they wanted to be or not. Right now it was still a backward hole in the universe that he just wanted off.

    Lifting his head he pulled a skimpy yellow g-string out from under it, the brassiere hung from the ceiling fan, spinning lazily in the afternoon breeze. Whoever she was, gathering by the mess in his bedroom and the way he felt, she enjoyed a good party as much as he did, which was great because he needed the stress relief. Snuggling up he nuzzled her ample left breast as he pulled the covers over his head and closed his eyes for some more sleep. This was what Sunday afternoons were designed for!

    The next time he woke up he was alone, his mysterious blue girl gone, along with her bra off the spinning ceiling fan. Fans who used fans! He had never seen one before he got here, now he swore he couldn't live without it. Finally dragging his eyes off it he rolled over and contemplated just staying in bed till Monday morning. He didn't need to check his internal PPU to know it was now late into sunday afternoon. Thirst and hunger won over laziness. Getting up he headed for the kitchen naked as the day he was born.

    It wasn't long before he had a bacon and egg sandwich and a second glass of ice cold water before him.

    The mouth watering aroma from the sandwich had reminded him of how much he smelt of dirtysex so he hit the shower straight after finishing eating.

    It wasn't a chore to wake up for once on Monday morning, seeing as he hasn't actually got out of bed for more than forty five minutes on Sunday, for once he felt refreshed and ready. After the shower he'd climbed back into bed put his old fashion style radio on to flood the room with sound, as he lay there with all the different styles and beats washing over him he drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Climbing back into the shower he woke his PPU and let it flood his brain with all the messages and news that he'd missed out on while he was offline.

    It didn't take him long to rearrange the tangled mess into a use able pile, a couple of priority mails from the office wanting updates and cost analysis’s, they probably hadn't got his report yet about the revolver freezing up and delivering 1000 cubes of unbatched polyprop. He liked to think he had been clever enough to think and use it for the concourse flooring but he doubted his boss would see any kind of saving out of the disaster. 1000 cubes lost and a weeks work down the drain. More office crap that he'd sort out later.

    Ohhhh Phoebe, that was the sexy blue girls name, had sent him a message, she had been his Sunday morning bed mate, she said she was a business manager from a tourist islands and she was sorry she had to leave but her flight back was scheduled already. Oh thanks, she’d attached a sight snap of him drooling all over himself with the caption “You looked so cute I didn't want to wake you”. She would let him know when she was back on the main land again and if he was there they could hook up.

    And last and by all means the most annoying a message from his brother telling him that he was on golf tour on Mars and had managed a mile long drive an almost as long second and a simple putt for a eagle, he'd ever included the sight video to be watched, not going to happen. His family was the main reason that he kept himself offline as much as he did, they were pains in the arse. The nice thing about working on all the different planets was he didn't have to interact with them for ages, the cryosleep on the shuttle rides meant he was guaranteed to miss large chunks of their annoyance!

    The shower automatically switching to drying was a reminder that he had to hurry up and get to work. The warm wind ruffling over his skin doing its job in mere moments. Stepping out he walked to the dresser just as it deposited a neat pile of clothes for him, apparently his subconscious had decided that pink suit with the orange shirt was the way to go today. Shrugging he began to dress, who was he to argue with himself. It would be a few minutes till his pod arrived from work but he still left the building and stood out on the street, It was fun to watch the world go by. He had learnt early on in his career that he could witness the weird and wonderful by just being there and places like these outback developing worlds had the weird and wonderful in aces.

    By the time his transport unit had arrived he had seen nothing and started on reading the other work mails. Replying to the ones that were relevant to date was a matter of a few minutes. He didn't know why he even bothered, judging by the time stamps there was a four week turnaround time, everything and anything could have changed in that time. The ride into orbit went by without even being noticed, the pod climbed through the atmosphere and docking with the shuttle station like a chicken laying an egg.

    As always the company sled was there to take him the 3 miles to his office and as always he declined and began his walk. The morning walk got his heart pumping and his mind clear. Looking out of the huge windows he watched the intricate dance performed by ferry's as they wove between the giant space shuttles before settling against the station to off load whatever or whomever they had collected. He could easily see why he was building the extension that he was. There were ships out there that had been waiting in the docking queue since last friday already. Well it wasn't really an extension, the station would be four times the original size when fully completed. Currently they could only dock five space shuttles at a time. But with his new extension and the reconfiguration they would be able to dock twenty space shuttles as well as one fabled space cruiser.

    Reaching the elevation bank he stepped onto the one heading for his office level. He didn't even bother going to his office just walked straight to the model room. Sure the weekends progress was uploaded to his PPU but he found there was nothing like actually seeing it to understand the progress. Rolling the model around he moved it to where he could see the weekends work and began to take it apart so he could check each component against his design. Expanding it further he started going over the support trusses, checking each and everyone meticulously, he came across a Howe truss spanning the 15 floor that wasn't correct. The intersecting load points weren't corresponding. They were perpendicular not congruent.

    Linking his PPU to the 3d model he quickly ran a stress analysis of the completed truss. Then stood there staring off into space, it wasn't really a problem with falling down but if a space shuttle bumped the station at that point it could very well twist. The question was what would the twisting cause? Bugger it! He pulled up the corresponding schematic diagram and doubled up all of the load bearing beams so it looked like an X instead of a triangle. Another twenty cubes of polyprop required for the fix, his boss wasn't going to be happy with that. Before signing the schematic diagram of he decided to go on site and have a look at the affected area. Maybe something would spring to mind.

    Calling the company sled up he stood on it and input the affected trusses coordinates. Having left his suit jacket on the table his orange shirt snapped and billowed around him as the sled sped along, catching a glimpse of himself in one of the glass panels he could easily image himself as a chariot racing gladiator, he was just missing the battle spear. He didn't even get to contemplate the winning of the chariot race and the acclimation of his prowess by the adoring and sexy fan maidens before the sled shot up and came to a stop next to the truss.

    Yup, it was wrong. Bringing the plans up on his PPU he brought them to the front and overlaid them on the truss it wasn't exactly rocket science to fix it but it would be if he could work out a way to minimise the material lost to change it. As he was want he began to pace, bumping into the protective bubble surrounding him he realised that he hadn't even noticed it spring up as the left the atmosphere of the space station he had been so tied up in his gladiator fantasy. Maybe he could convince Phoebe to role play with him, his pants could barely contain him as he imagined removing her protective breast plate and exposing her luscious blue boobies. Shaking his head he tried to snap out of it and concentrate on his work again.

    Who cares about costs anyway? His boss hated him already because of the initial problem with the jammed revolver so what did an extra 20 cubes mean to fix a problem properly. Leaning against the protective bubble he initialled the schematic change and filed it. Instructing the sled to return to the office he then uploaded the change in work detail to the site foreman and requested a meeting with him to go over the detail. He barely even noticed the sled was moving until it breached the space station's atmospheric pressure bubble and dropped the one he had so casual been leaning against. The sudden lack of support caused him to stumble then fall off the edge of the sled. He didn't really have time to scream or even react before he hit the floor.

    He didn't really wake up, more his brain started bringing everything back into focus, barely even glancing at the unfamiliar ceiling he rolled his head to the side and vomited on the faux wood linoleum flooring. Closing his eyes again he waited for the fuzziness and nausea to pass. He didn't even bother checking his PPU he knew exactly where he was, nausea and crappy flooring together meant only one thing, Hospital!

    Eventually opening his eyes he looked around and assessed his situation. Both legs in casts and up in tractions , left arm strapped to a board and multiple IVs in it, right arm lightly bandaged and lastly but not least his head felt all bandaged up as well. Following the IV lines he saw a bag of red plasma and a clear saline bag hanging next to each other. Drawing from experience he concluded that he had two severely broken legs, a damaged head, of some kind and bruised or cut right arm.

    Attempting to access his PPU to confirm his guess and get a detailed report on the operation or operations that they had obviously done he was rather surprised that he couldn't. The hospital must have taken it off line while they worked on him. Heaven forbid that it was damaged, it wasn't a problem to get it replaced but he wouldn't be able to update and synchronize it for 4 weeks. His database was hosted on his home planet of Sol, even with faster than light burst communication it would take that long for the data dump to reach here. His boss would have kittens if he found out.

    Focusing again he watched as a white coated lady walked through the swinging doors, he didn't see much past her to give him a clue as to where he was before the doors clicked shut. She wrinkled her button nose, scrunching her face up as her grey eyes settled on the pool of vomit next to the bed. Without a word to him she turned and gracefully raised her silk stocking clad leg and released a vicious kick at a floor level sensor fitted into the wall. Moments later a mop bot disgorged from a concealed hole in the wall. Standing back she let it pass. They both watched in silence as it slurped up his vomit before spinning on the patch and spraying a light air freshening mist out of its dome.

    The with the mess gone and the disappearance of the bot she took his chart off the bottom of the bed, clicking her pen and scribbled something down. Knowing doctors it was intelligible to anyone else.
    "Mr Bedlam I'm your doctor, Dr Ulnar, how are you feeling this afternoon?"
    "Um I'm not to sure, I seem okay."
    Toying with the pearl buttons on her blouse she picked up the chart again and tapped the screen.
    "Just a few details missing if you wouldn't mind?"
    "Sure go ahead."
    "How tall are you? You have compound fractures in both your legs so I just want to check I got you right."
    "189 centimeters. What else is/was wrong with me?"
    She seemed to disregard his question and carry on with her's.
    "What do you do for a living?"
    "I'm a structural civil engineer."
    "Oh sorry, we turned you Personally Processing Unit off, you aren't military personal so you don't have clearance."
    "It doesn't matter I'm a real engineer not some semi-literate gutter child running a cyborg program."
    She looked up at him, her eyes taking on a different personality as they locked on to his. The moment was fleeting as the doors swung open and two mottle blue and grey clad soldiers pushed a bed into the room, expertly parking it next his.
    It contained a man with his legs raised in stirrups.

    She crossed to the new bed and looked at his chart and then the obviously injured man."How the hell did this happen corporal?"
    "As it was explained to me ma'am the staff sergeant and some of the men had been watching the newest Tarzan movie in the lounge area. The staff sergeant then became restless and decided to instruct the enlisted men on some of the finer points of "Vine swinging" unfortunately the plaid curtains that he had selected for his medium of instruction were not as securely fastened to the wall as he hoped. When he had made it halfway across the room they broke loose of their moorings and deposited him on the candelabra. Doctor Daniels has since removed it from his rectum.
    He is sedated and should wake within 6 hours to return to duty ma'am."

    He still heard the "idiot" even though she had muttered it under her breath.

    Shoeing them out the room she casually locked the door behind them before turning back to him. Stepping back to the foot of the bed, she studied him, there wasn't really much he could hide lying there scantily clad in the hospital gown. He didn't have a body like his new neighbour who seemed to have muscles growing everywhere but he wasn't a fat cake, hey what could he say cryogenic sleep kept you trim. Her visual inspection done she was back to business.

    “I need to take your vitals, put your right arm out.”

    He wasn't sure if it was a request or an order either way he complied, bending his bandaged arm out so she could apply the pressure cuff and place the electronic sensor over his finger. He closed his eyes while it clicked, huffed, puffed and beeped to itself. Once it had finished and she had removed all its paraphernalia from him he tried to tuck his arm back in, he couldn't. Looking down he saw that he had a large Velcro strap holding his arm to the bump rail.

    “What the hell?”

    “Quiet or I'll gag you as well. I promise no harm is going to come to you. I just need to procure a sample from you.”

    “I don't want to.” Even he wasn't sure if that was a question or a statement.

    “Never you mind, close your eyes just relax and enjoy it.”

    That kept his eyes glued open, he couldn't stop watching her as she wandered around the room picking up things, a glass tube here, a couple of wires there, a sticky pad or two and some clear tubing. Approaching the bed she dumped the stuff on the side table before lifting his gown up and exposing his manhood which immediately shrank and did the Tommy turtle, trying to withdraw and hide from her prying eyes.


    She wasn't having any of it, her warm hand cupped his balls and penis gently rubbing and tugging on them, encouraging them to come out to play. Seemingly satisfied with the progress she had made by hand she picked up the sticky pads, sticking one to the underside of his scrotum and other to the base of his penis. Next came the wires clicking into place on the pads and plugging into the back of the heart monitor machine. Flipping the switch on she smiled in appreciation as his dick jumped to attention, the pads sending a pleasurable jolt through his balls and the base of his dick every time it beeped. Rummaging in her handbag she eventually came up with a condom, strawberry flavoured judging by the wrapper.
    She carefully tore the foil wrapper and rolled it down his very erect manhood, then dropped the glass tube over it. Tugging the blood pressure cuff of the beeping machine she connected the the clear tube, then joined it to the top of the glass slieve containing his dick. Holding the base down she flicked another switch on the machine and the huffing and puffing started again. “Aahhhh.” He groaned in pleasure as the machine sucked his dick. The doc twiddled a few knobs increasing the pressure and syncing the sucking with the electrical jolts. Letting go of the glass cylinder she patted his shoulder.

    “Good boy, just relax.”

    Not even realising he had closed his eyes he opened them and watched her. She walked across the room and removed a thermometer from the draw. Putting one leg up on the side of the bed she exposed her panty clad pussy to his rapier gaze. Negligently she tugged the crotch of her panties to one side exposing smooth shaven mottled blue lips, flexing her hips slightly she inserted the thermometer. Watching his dick getting sucked she idle played with her clit in time to it. He watched as she with drew it and read it with some interest, what the hell was she up to?

    “98.5f° looks like mama's going to need that sample right away.”

    She looked at him as she dropped her leg, not even bothering to rearrange her panties.

    “ Are you ready to cum for me?”

    “Yes ma'am, very shortly ma'am.” Why the hell was he calling her ma'am now?

    “Tell me when you’re about to.” That was a definite command!

    She moved across the room again, removing a small box and a large syringe from the cabinet.

    Standing back next to him she casually rubbed his nipple through the gown, patiently waiting for him.

    “I’m gonna cum now!” Damn it was so good.

    She left his nipple alone and focused on his dick and the machine, after his second or third eruption he had the most gut wrenching ejaculation, the electricity flowing through his balls and dick arching his back right off the bed, his muscles contorting and forcing every last drop of the semen out. The pleasant sucking and releaseing on his dick gone, replaced by a vacuum cleaner like drag trying to suck his balls out though his dick.

    “Aaaaahahhhhhahahahaahaaaa.” He had never cum so hard in his life.

    As suddenly as it had come it was gone, the huffing, puffing and beeps all silent.

    The doctor was bustling around him, quickly she removed the glass cylinder and carefully withdrew the condom squeezing up his penis as she drew it off, making sure to trap every little drop of his juice inside. Once she had it off she held it up for him to see, it was almost half full.

    “You are a very good boy.” She cood

    Gentle laying it down on the table she withdrew a swab from the earlier retrieve container and whipped his dick with it. Holding it in her hand she studied it for a while before pronouncing.

    “Excellent, you are clean too!”

    Picking the half full condom up she stuck the syringe into it and sucked up all his juice. Discarding it she sat on the edge of the bed and again lifted her skirt, exposing her now puffy blue lips once again. Circling the syringe round and round she stuck it all the way up before injecting herself she made some minor adjustments to its position. As she pushed the plunger in she furiously rubbed her clit, letting out a very satisfied groan before it bottomed out.

    She layed on the edge of the bed for a while.

    “Its a pity about these legs.” She said patting the cast.

    “I would have enjoyed doing this the old fashion way.”

    Without further ado she ripped the sticky patches off along with large patches of pubic hair.

    “One of my corpsmen will be around to remove these casts in two days. Everything should be healed by then.”
    And she was gone, no thank you, no kiss, had she even removed the syringe from her pussy?

    The next two days passed in absolute boredom, the injured staff Sergeant having gone when he awoke, every time someone came in he asked to see the doctor, most ignored him, one tapped him on the casts and said ”Looks like you've seen the doc.” for the rest he never saw anyone and with his PPU offline he couldn't even read the news or watch TV. It was almost a relief to have the two casts taken off and be escorted from the frigate. The armed men flanked him as he stepped into the small chamber and gave one last look back before activating the airlock, his company sled was already docked outside the military frigate.

    Hummmmm join the army and get an automatic rifle or more workplace injuries, either way he would be seeing the Doc again!
     
  2. 1 Toy Maker

    1 Toy Maker Well-Known Member

    A promising tale. I noticed as few missing punctuation points.
    Thanks writer.
     
  3. Pars001

    Pars001 #1 Knight Writer

    nice sci-fi alien sex!
     
  4. Little Miss K

    Little Miss K Naughty but Nice

    A candelabra up his rectum? :eek::D

    This was very good. You were so inventive with your choices. The "sex" was different from what we usually see, and hospital sex is fun. :);)

    I saw a few small mistakes. A you when it should have been your, a draw, when I think you meant drawer, and my personal pet peeve...

    Should be too. (I hate it, but I still do it myself.) :(

    I could picture an outer space construction site, with all sorts of futuristic tools, but also some things that I would still recognize. Some of the hospital tools were also familiar, where I would think that they would be improved by then, but that wasn't a problem. :)

    I really like this one. It made me think, and at times made me laugh. Thank you. :D
     
  5. bistander

    bistander Well-Known Member

    This was a very creative use of the words. Not something I would have been able to come up with. You have a very creative mind. I would have liked to know what a PPU was sooner.

    There was a multitude of punctuation errors. (Should that be were a multitude?) I have to ask questions like that all the time. Writing is a learning process, and I think until I'm famous and have an editor to worry about it, I'll have to keep on learning.

    You should go to one of the many free sites and learn about commas and semicolons. As an example, in your first paragraph, you had:
    Things just got worse as he tried to pull the covers up and roll over, there was someone in his bed with him, trapping the sheets, holding him in place. <- that is two sentences. Either use a ; after rollover, or a period. (Rollover is one word)
    Thrashing around like a fish in a net<-is an introductory clause and should have a comma after it-- he eventually managed to get some leeway and roll over.

    His bed mate(is one word) had to be in even a worse state than him as she hadn't even groaned while he was wiggling around and and(extra and) pulling the sheets out from under her.

    He didn't even recognise(Is that the British version?) her,(Semicolon or period) her skin had the light blue tones that all people developed after they had lived on Cassandra for a while, so she was a local.

    This sentence: He slowly blinked as the sun glared through the window, tears blurring his vision as the hangover pounded away to its own beat in his skull.
    If you care, as a suggestion, I would have tried something like:
    He slowly blinked as the sun glared through the window. Tears blurred his vision while a hangover pounded to its own beat in his skull.

    I hope you'll find something above that is helpful. I'm always willing to help with proofreading or giving pointers on the things that I have learned. Many other things you'll have to find somebody who knows more than I.

    Great job creating a future world where people still show up at the hospital claiming they fell on something and swear that is why it is lodged in their ass.
     
    1 Toy Maker likes this.
  6. ahorsewithnoname

    ahorsewithnoname Author & Admin. Live. Love. Write! Win a Pulitzer! Staff Member

    Good story. Sci-fi has always been one of my favorite genres, starting with Star Trek in the late 60's to the current crop of movies and heroes. Well-written and interjected with some humor. Good job.
     
  7. Uncle B

    Uncle B Well-Known Member

    I saw 15 uses from all 3 lists.

    The way you fit some of the words in was very creative. You told a good story. I'm not sure why, but the thought of a blue woman is kind of sexy.

    Thanks for a good story.
     
  8. Jeymar

    Jeymar Dean of the Perverts

    I won't go over the many times where I had to re-read a sentence to understand it. The others gave you good tips as to what needed to be worked on. You are very imaginative. Wish you luck on the results of the voting phase.
     
  9. Stealth Eagle

    Stealth Eagle Well-Known Member

    I have read the story, but I was not as impressed with it as I was by some of the others. That being said I feel the plot was good, as was the character work. Over all I feel it was a good story.
     
  10. HCB0414

    HCB0414 Well-Known Member

    Well this was an interesting story. I was a little confused in a few areas, but managed to figure out what was going on.

    I did laugh though at the image of the guy swinging from the curtains and getting the candelabra up the rectum. That'll teach him to act like Tarzan. I kind of wonder if he did a Tarzan yell before or after the candelabra went in.

    I did enjoy the very creative way he had to give a sample, very different.

    This made me chuckle, so thank you for that, and good luck.
     
  11. Missrachael

    Missrachael Queen of Cheshire

    This was definitely original! Maybe I'm being a bit dumb but I didn't really get into the flow of it, enough to enjoy it, sorry but good luck in the vote.
     
    bistander likes this.
  12. ejls

    ejls Moderator Staff Member

    Good story. Unfortunately, I'm never going to be able to light candles in the dining room without thinking of that scene. Kind of like humming "Despacito" all day long.
     
  13. 1 Toy Maker

    1 Toy Maker Well-Known Member

    Thanks for reading and all your comments guys and babes.
    This originally started as a collaboration between Summer and I but due to both our work situations neither of us had time to do more than hash out an outline. Then I ended up in the hospital so I had half a morning off before an operation and a day recovery time. I took our premises and wrote it. Unfortunately I was high on drugs so kept passing out while writing and being late already I didn't read it or have it proofread before I handed it in on the last hour, plus 5. A big thank @Uncle B for even accepting it and adding it. I really enjoyed the challenge, I think I Included 15 words and 2 phrases.
     
    bistander likes this.