CAW 32: The Road

Discussion in 'Calling All Writers - CAW 32' started by Uncle B, Dec 3, 2017.

  1. Uncle B

    Uncle B Well-Known Member

    CAW 32: The Road



    Picture #8

    Cole looked out at the road ahead. The leafless trees were shrouded in an afternoon fog. An Autumn sunset lit the scene, but simultaneously seeped into the fog and cast eerie shadows throughout the surrounding woods. The sprinkling of rain that passed through earlier had left the lanes wet in patches, and seemed to both reflect, and absorb the light. Added to the almost silent remoteness of this route, there was a not completely unpleasant smell of the rotting vegetation. It was a vision that could be melancholy, spooky, or even haunting.

    Today though, there was nothing that could wipe the smile from his face. The difference in his mood, was as different as the look of the road when he had traveled it in the other direction. That day had been a bright sunny morning. The leaves, still on the trees, had just started changing colors. The air was crisp with the first breezes of Fall, and you could still catch that faint smell of Summer, reluctant to give way to another season. In contrast, his mood had been dark and brooding. The beauty of the drive had been completely erased with the thought of the job that would be keeping him away from home for the next six weeks.

    He hadn't wanted to go. He had tried to find a way to pass the responsibility off onto somebody else, but with no luck. With the special date approaching, he did everything he could to postpone, then even cancel the job altogether, but he knew that with the upcoming event, the extra money would come in handy. In the end, it was Marissa who had convinced him.

    "Babe, all these arrangements drive you crazy anyway. Go do your job, and maybe I will be able to finalize some of these plans without you in my hair constantly." She had given him a loving kiss to soften her words. "Your Mom, and my sister will be here to help me make decisions, and I can e-mail you anything important that I think you will want a say in."

    That had settled it. A month and a half before marrying the woman of his dreams, he had driven out of town on business. Though he still had his doubts, he made the room reservations, packed up the truck, and checked with the office to make sure everything would be running smoothly while he was away. The morning he left, Marissa had risen early to send him off with a warm breakfast. That wasn't the only thing, she also sent him on the road with a nice memory too... right there on the kitchen table!

    Now, with the job done, the money in the bank, and the thought of that morning send off, he was heading back home. His cheeks were almost sore from the way he was smiling. He would consciously stop, only to find that he was grinning again mere seconds later. When his phone rang, he turned down the radio, but waited till he was safely out of the turn before picking up.

    "Are you missing me?" He answered, knowing without looking at the caller ID who it would be.

    "Hey Babe! You have no idea how much!"

    Just the sound of her voice made the smile on his face get even bigger. It was a good thing that no one was traveling this country road, if so, he would be reported as some crazed lunatic driving alone with a look of manic glee.

    "Happy Halloween!" She continued in her ever cheerful voice. "Will you be home before the witching hour?"

    Cole looked at the clock on the dash, and quickly ran the numbers.

    "As long as I don't hit any problems, I should be home around 11:00 O'clock." The thought of getting home, and throwing his arms around her was almost to much to bear, but this was one of their favorite times of the year, and he refused to be the one to ruin it for her. "I probably wont be able to make Pete and Ashley's party, but you should go and have fun. I could even swing by late, and pick you up if you wanted a couple of drinks."

    "Yeah, I don't know, maybe." He knew with those words, she didn't have any intention of going anywhere until he was home. "I picked up some candy, and I think I might just stay at home to pass it out to the neighborhood kids who come by."

    This was an outright lie, but also an ongoing Halloween joke. No neighborhood kid was going to trek the half mile from the road up to their house on the hill. Before the holiday, the two of them would stock up on King Size candy bars in their favorite variety. Whether they went out, or stayed in, they would always end up on the couch watching scary movies, and binge eating candy. Had any adventurous children ever arrived, they would have hit the mother-lode. Instead, with every treat they opened, they would laugh and say, "Dumb mistake kids."

    "Sure." He said sarcastically. "I better not find you surrounded by wrappers with not a single Twix, or Kit Kat remaining!"

    "You don't know!" She retorted. "Maybe this is the year we get over run with Trick-or-Treaters. I couldn't be sure if anyone has peanut allergies, so I would have to hold back the Payday's and the Baby Ruth's. It is the only responsible option."

    God how he loved her quick wit, and personality.

    "I love you, you know that right?"

    He could almost hear the sound of her putting aside a few of his favorite candy bars just in case, and the smile threatened to split his head in half.

    "I love you more than chocolate covered peanuts too," She made cute kissing sounds, then made him snort by finishing, "But I don't know if you can compete when nougat is added into the mix."

    "I guess I can't blame you there. I'm just glad the choice doesn't have to be made." He slowed for another turn, then sped up to hasten his return to the woman he loved. "Just tell me you will consider going to the party, I know you would have fun."

    "I will think about it. I promise!" He knew she wouldn't.

    "Right now I want you to concentrate on your driving. I know you took the short cut, and you know how I hate that road! It's so curvy, and you take it way too fast! You will be home soon enough, so there is no need to speed.

    "Get back to watching the road instead of thinking about candy." He was pretty sure she knew that wasn't what was on his mind at the moment, but he didn't object. "I will see you when you get here."

    "Alright, alright." He let the needle fall back down to under sixty, and paid extra attention to the road as if she was sitting there watching what he did. "I'll be good, I swear."

    "And Baby?" After all this time, her pet name for him made him feel good all over. "Only eight days left."

    She had started this over four months ago, a countdown in days. Feigning ignorance, he asked innocently.

    "Eight days? What is in eight days?"

    The pride in her voice filled him with a pride all his own.

    "Eight days until I am officially Mrs. Marissa Holt! Now get back to driving!"

    Without so much as another word, she ended the call and left him with a dead phone in his hand. Putting the phone back on the seat beside him, he had to break hard as a car came around the next curve and into his lane. Cole pulled hard on the wheel, then back the other way, and somehow managed to avoid the collision on the left, and the embankment on the right.

    "Fuck me!" he shouted. Shaking his head, he slowed a little more, down to below fifty five.

    Thinking about her being back in his arms, he let his mind go to those happy places. All he could think about was getting home. Before he knew it, the truck was approaching seventy.




    The air seemed unnaturally cold when he opened door and walked into the bedroom. When he looked up, Cole could do nothing but stand and stare at his fiance laying there in bed. The negligee was one that he had bought her for Valentine's Day the previous February. Sheer white cups covered her breasts, but left the rosy nipples beneath clearly visible. A small blue bow held the top together at the breasts, but allowed the lace to open up and flow down past her waist, revealing her stomach, and a glimpse of the matching white panties between her legs. Laying back on a stack of pillows, she had one leg slightly raised, Her hair was glimmering in the soft light of the bedside lamp.

    "You are home." She said simply, a soft smile on her lips. "Make love to me."

    Only that. Right down to brass tacks. She knew what she wanted, and knew that it is what he wanted too. There was no need for small talk, catching up could be done later. Right now it was time to quench a thirst, feed a hunger that had been raging for awhile now. It was all he could do to keep himself from running and jumping on top of her.

    Setting his bag down on the chair inside the door, Cole kicked his shoes off before walking to the edge of the bed. Sitting down, he leaned over and gave her the kiss that he had been wanting for weeks. When their lips touched, as always, there was that spark of electricity, and a feeling of belonging.

    Marissa's hands came up and combed into his hair, while he leaned on one arm and let his free hand caress her side. Her lips parted to let their tongues slowly touch and explore one another. Their kiss grew more passionate, but there was no sense of rush, just a roaring bonfire of desire that was burning between them. Her hands pulled him in tighter, and his hand slid underneath her, holding her close.

    She pulled back slightly, and looked into his eyes. "I love you." Then her fingers moved to the blue ribbon, and pulled gently.

    The thin lace parted to reveal the soft breasts beneath. Not able to resist, Cole moved forward, and took one firm nipple between his lips. Marissa leaned back while he licked, and teased the small point with his tongue. First licking, then a small nip with his teeth, he sucked it in, and swirled his tongue around and around. His hand slipped up her rib cage, and squeezed her other breast. While suckling the one, he massaged the other, letting his thumb run over the erect nub, then trace patterns over it. Her hands were on the back of his head holding him against her, softly murmuring words of encouragement.

    When he had finished teasing the first side, he switched his lips to the other, moving his hand, and repeating the process in reverse. Her body was his to taste, and it was better than any Halloween candy ever. Eventually, his kisses moved to other parts of her. His lips kissed the underside of her breasts, then moved upwards. A small bite found it's way to her neck, and was greeted by a shiver. The curve of her collarbone was traced by his tongue. He used his mouth on every inch of her chest and shoulders, only needing the small sighs, and her hands on his head to tell him he was doing it right.

    Slowly traveling down her body, he placed a long kiss to her belly button. Taking the edge of the tiny underwear between his fingers, he pulled them down her thighs. Every inch he pulled them down, he would kiss, alternating legs, until he reached her feet. Letting the small bit of material fall to the floor, he looked over her with lust in his eyes. She was the most beautiful thing in his world. Laying there invitingly before him, legs slightly spread, he knew that there was no one he would ever want more.

    Laying down at the foot of the bed, Cole put his head between her thighs. He inhaled deeply, getting the scent of not only her apple body wash, but the more intimate smell of her arousal. Almost warily, he flicked his tongue out and gently ran it the length of her slit. The folds separated, and he got the first taste of her. Again he let his tongue make one long trip from the bottom of her, all the way up to the small pearl, then down again. Like a hungry man, he couldn't help himself any longer, he devoured her.

    Her legs holding his head tight, Cole used his mouth in every way he knew how. The more he tasted her, the more urgent the desire. Lashing her clit with his tongue, he then licked downward, and pressed inside, tasting her. Pulling her lips into his mouth, he nibbled gently, then sucked. Circling, and kissing, he would give attention to her pink button, then move to stimulate all other parts of her, returning back to that bundle of nerves. Soon her thighs were clamped hard, and her hips were pressing up to his mouth.

    "Oh God Yes! Oh Cole! Oh Baby..."

    Without slowing, Cole kept up the teasing as he felt her body shudder, then stiffen all over. He sucked her clit in between his lips, and flicked his tongue against it as he felt her fall back against the pillows. Only then did his movements slow, letting a warm breath blow out against her heated flesh. With a last kiss, he slid up in bed, and kissed her mouth. Opening her eyes, Marissa, reached for his pants.

    "Get these off!"

    Standing quickly, Cole pulled off his shirt, and removed his pants. He started to lay down, but instead, Marissa turned away, and rose to all fours. Backing up to the edge of the bed, she looked over her shoulder and said in a rough voice.

    "Take me. I want you inside of me!"

    Stepping to the bed, Cole grabbed her legs, and parted them farther. With one hand on her hip, he took his cock and maneuvered it between her folds. Slipping it up and down a few times to ensure that it was lubricated, he pressed himself forward. The feeling of entering her was exquisite. It was as if nature had designed her to fit him exactly, and no other would ever fit quite as perfectly. When his crotch came into contact with her ass, he rested there for a moment, just content to feel the way her pussy held him so tight.

    With deliberate patience, he withdrew until only the last inch of him was still between her lips, then he watched as his cock slid smoothly back inside of her bit by bit. As he came against her again, her muscles clenched, making him groan loudly. Slipping back again, he entered her more quickly. This time, she pushed back, then flexed her muscles again. With each movement he made, she would match it with something of her own; a wiggle, tightening of her legs, a shake, even reaching between them to fondle his balls.

    "Oh damn it woman! You are making it hard for me to last very long!" He cried out without a hint of regret.

    "Then don't." Looking back over her shoulder, she smiled. "Just enjoy the moment." Doing something that she knew always got to him, she laughed. "Will this help?"

    Letting go with her arms, she laid down on her chest, and arched her back. This caused her ass to jut up farther into the air, and gave him the most erotic front row view to what was going on. Grabbing a hip in either hand, Cole watched as he entered her again. Soon Marissa was bouncing against him, her hips rocking back in time with his every move. The sight of her lean body working so hard for his pleasure was amazing. Just being with her would have been enough, but she was doing everything in her power to satisfy him. Soon it was beyond his ability to hold back. Six weeks without her, and he was ready to explode.

    "I can't wait, I'm going to cum!"

    With a last powerful thrust, his hands pulled her hips towards him, and he felt himself release inside of her. A couple of convulsions, and stream after stream was let loose deep within. Not satisfied with only that, Marissa pushed back harder. Her muscles squeezed, relaxed, then squeezed again. With amazing control, it felt like she was milking every last drop from not only his body, but feeding from his very being like some kind of succubus. Placing a hand on her back, he had to relent.

    "Love... enough. I don't think I can take any more."

    With one last squeeze, she rolled over and took him by the hands. Pulling him to the bed, half on, half beside her, she covered his face with kisses. Breathing rapidly, Cole kissed her back with as much passion, and love as she was giving. Without warning, she burst into giggles. The kisses never stopped, but each one was accompanied by a small laugh that blew air over his cheeks. Not knowing what the reason, he found himself laughing too. The joy of being together was enough.

    After a few moments, Cole meant to get up. A towel to help contain some of the mess would be helpful, and a glass of water would certainly go down nice. Marissa grabbed his arm, and pulled him back.

    "Not yet. I want you to hold me for awhile."

    "Just give me a second, and I'll be right back." He responded.

    The scowl on her face, and the insistent way she was pulling on him made him relent.

    "OK, OK." With an act of impatience that he didn't truly feel, he cuddled up next to her. "Let me guess. You want to talk about wedding plans?"

    To his surprise, she only placed her fingers against his lips, then burrowed herself into his shoulder. Her arms wrapped around him so tight, that he was surprised he could still breathe. He wrapped his arms around her, and their bodies intertwined. His fingers drew swirls across the skin of her back, while her fingers traced unseen letters on his chest. After a long moment where he thought she had fallen asleep, he heard her voice.

    "Don't leave me."




    He wasn't sure if he had been asleep, or just a light doze, but when the phone rang, he could see the first bit of dawn at the windows. Marissa's arms were still wrapped around him tightly, and her eyes were open. He looked over at the display on the phone, and saw the name, "MOM".

    "Don't get it."

    When he looked over at her, he was surprised to see the look on her face. She had always gotten along well with his mother, and would never think of ignoring her calls. The fact that she was calling at this hour, meant that it must be important. He couldn't think of a reason Marissa would have said that.

    "Honey, it's my mom. I can't just let it go to voice mail."

    Scooting even closer, her face was unreadable.

    "Then kiss me now... before it's too late."

    Unable to figure out what was wrong, he gave her a sweet kiss. His hand came up and caressed her cheek, and her arms gave him one last squeeze.

    Standing up, he grabbed the phone just before it would have gone to the answering service.

    "Hello?"

    There was a burst of static, but he could just make out his mother's voice.

    "Cole? Cole??? Are you there?" There was another long burst of static, and a long pause. More than enough time for him to begin to panic at the sound of his mom's voice.

    "Mom!" He was nearly shouting into the phone.

    A screech of interference came through the line, then very faintly he heard her again. "... hear me? ............ accident. ........didn't know.... involved."

    He looked over his shoulder, and Marissa was looking at him sadly. She spoke very softly.

    "I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how."

    The room started to spin, but he didn't know what was wrong. He turned his attention back to the phone.

    "Mom? I can't hear you! What are you saying?" He was yelling into the phone, trying to make sense of what his mother was saying.

    "Cole?" There was finally a moment of clear reception. "Oh son! I don't know what to say. I've been calling you for hours. This is the first time that it has gone through." There was a few seconds of static, then she came in and out again. "...night...Marissa...highway patrol called...when she left the party."

    "Mom. What are you talking about?" There was nothing but a steady hiss through the speaker now. "She didn't go to the party."

    "But I did go."

    Her voice made him turn, and his mind could not comprehend what he was seeing. Marissa was standing next to the bed, fully clothed. Even more confusing was the bed that he had just left was completely made. The white, lace negligee, that he had so recently removed from her, was laid out neatly on the bedspread.

    "What the hell is going on?" He was talking to Marissa, but the phone in his hand still spoke in bursts.

    "Son, There was an accident... drunk...didn't stop... ambulance... doctor said..."

    Marissa looked at him with a sad smile on her face.

    "I wanted to tell you. But how could I with so little time?"

    Cole didn't know what was going on. All he knew was the feeling of a hook in his insides pulling him inside out.

    "I thought I would stop by for just a bit. I didn't even have a drink. All I wanted was to pass the time till you would be home." She looked so sad, that all he wanted to do was to step up and take her in his arms. His body betrayed him, and wouldn't move.

    "I know you say that I am a horrible driver, but it wasn't my fault." She let out a wry laugh, but the smile never met her eyes. "He was drunk. He went right through the stop light. There was nothing I could do."

    Cole looked down at the phone that was still squealing in his hand, then looked back up. The first rays of sunlight were shining through the blinds. He couldn't believe what he was seeing as he realized they were shining right through Marissa as well. Comprehension spread throughout his mind, but would not spur his muscles into movement. All he could do is cry an almost imperceptible word.

    "Nooooooooo!!!"

    "I'm sorry my love, but I only had until the dawn. It's time for me to go. I love you forever."

    Whether it was seconds, minutes, or a lifetime, Cole would never know, but as her form faded away with the light, he could hear the voice on the phone in his hand gain clarity.

    "Cole? Did you hear me? Son, are you there?"

    With a mind that was not his own, his hand lifted the receiver to his head. The voice that came out didn't seem to belong to him.

    "Yeah mom, I can hear you now.

    "I'm so sorry son..." He didn't need the pause, he knew exactly what her next words would be. "She didn't make it."

    With legs no longer able to support him, he sank down onto the bed. His hand reached out to finger the lace of the lingerie that he knew she had laid out to wear just for him. He looked out into the room that would no longer hear her laughter, the bed that would never again share their love, and every other thing here that would remind him of the life that was so unexpectedly taken from him. There was no earthly explanation to what had happened that night, but he knew that it was more than mere fantasy. He forced himself to make a reply.

    "I know mom." The tears started flowing from his eyes, and he had to swallow a large lump of grief that nearly choked his reply before hanging up the phone.

    "I know."
     
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  2. Well written story, I loved the sex scene beautifully written. A very unexpected ending! Well done I would never have guessed.
     
  3. 1 Toy Maker

    1 Toy Maker Well-Known Member

    Very well done and nice little twist. I was expecting it to be the husband who was dead!
     
  4. AnX...

    AnX... Bloody nuisance

    I liked it, it reminded me of a film plot. Well written.
     
  5. TertiusHuman

    TertiusHuman Well-Known Member

    BAH!!!

    When the author names are revealed, expect a strongly worded PM from me for making me spill a few tears.

    Great story, for a crazy moment I thought them both to be ghosts, him running off of the road and her murdered in bed. Loved the twist even though I saw it coming (Halloween and all that), but the description of emotional is what got me.

    I caught one spelling mistake and if there's more, or any grammatical issues, I didn't see them.

    Kudus to the author
     
  6. Little Miss K

    Little Miss K **Reigning CAW Champion**

    Why would you want to make me cry? :(

    I hated this story, but I also love it. Marissa was so excited about her wedding, but it was taken from her. That is so sad. I thought it was Cole who was in an accident, but I couldn't figure out how he answered the phone. :confused:

    Your description of the road was very good. The sex scene was hot and exciting. You made me care about both of them. (then you took that away from me. :mad:)

    I did see a few mistakes, and at least once you mixed up to and too.

    This really did make me cry, so that is what a good story can do. I just wish it wasn't so sad. :(
     
  7. bistander

    bistander Well-Known Member

    I thought the mother was trying to tell Cole that Marissa killed someone or committed some other atrocity. Darn, that would have made it scarier and less teary.

    There were some booboos but not too bad. A few more gerunds than I'm comfortable with, but the first part of the story made up for any issues.

    You painted a picture that set a mood. It was clear that you were building towards something that we didn't know about, but we were nervous about what it might be.

    You made their relationship real and set up a special lovemaking scene that turned into ghost sex.

    Awesome. It gets my highest points allotment so far.
     
  8. Redbeard1031

    Redbeard1031 Well-Known Member

    Just when you think you can't be impressed any more by the submissions to this CAW you are hit over the head with one like this. From the beginning you are drawn into this tale and you cant look away until yo reach the end of the road. All of the human emotions are felt and this is the work of a fantastic story teller.
     
  9. Uncle B

    Uncle B Well-Known Member

    This was certainly not a happy ending, feel good story. In fact, it made this grumpy old guy tear up at the end. My own death has never been something that I gave much thought to, but losing a loved one is the stuff that haunts my nightmares. For that matter, it fits perfectly in with things in life to fear.

    Some errors, but none that were awful. Try reading the story out loud slowly, you will probably find the mistakes that you easily can overlook with a read through. If that doesn't work, you might ask someone to proofread it for you.

    I felt a connection with the characters, and that is what made the ending more painful. I think you did a good job with that.
     
  10. ejls

    ejls Moderator Staff Member

    The author made this story with the ending. I could feel his pain and his grief. Really well done.
     
  11. Missrachael

    Missrachael Queen of Cheshire

    Yep, tears from me too here. Epic ending, brilliant story and I hate you for making my choice so hard
     
  12. AnX...

    AnX... Bloody nuisance

    Well done Uncle B, I enjoyed this and will re read it again later. Thank you

    bth_happydance.gif
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2017
    Uncle B likes this.
  13. Little Miss K

    Little Miss K **Reigning CAW Champion**

    There is something about reading a story and seeing little bits and pieces of yourself inside that is sooooo awesome! :)

    This was so good, and it brought out many different emotions. Joy, and smiles, naughty thoughts, ;) and heart breaking sadness.

    BUT WHY DID YOU KILL MARISSA?!? :mad:

    I L Y B, F A E! :)
     
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  14. ahorsewithnoname

    ahorsewithnoname Author & Admin. Live. Love. Write! Win a Pulitzer! Staff Member

    So here's my 2 cents on the CAW Winner, realizing that I'm an hour (month) late and a dollar short ... old-fashioned expression. First I'll go with the technical stuff, then about the story itself.

    3rd Sentence: An Autumn sunset ... the noun Autumn should be autumn. Why? When a season isn't a proper noun, it isn't capitalized. Examples:

    Early last summer, my brother and I caught bass in abundance.

    vs.

    In February, the 2018 Winter Olympics will be held in South Korea, highlighted by the winter sports of ice skating and downhill skiing.

    You'll note that as a generic adjective, "winter" is lower case.

    That's a lot to say about a single word, but, it's common enough for most to make note.

    "The sprinkling of rain that passed through earlier had left the lanes wet in patches, and seemed to both reflect, and absorb the light."

    Either leave off the comma after reflect, or, add a comma after absorb. You either de-emphasize the reflection and absorption by allowing no pause, or, to add drama, you put in both commas.

    "The difference in his mood, was as different ..."

    There's no need for a comma here. You might also use a different (excuse me for that!) word than different, since you used difference six words previous. "The difference in his mood was as contrasting/disparate/dissimilar/divergent as the look of the road ..."

    "The air was crisp with the first breezes of Fall, and you could still catch that faint smell of Summer," ... see above.

    "Your Mom, and my sister will be here ..."

    Remove this comma too. Read the sentence aloud and see if you need a pause there. You don't. Absent of any technical need for a comma ... ditch it. Technical need?

    I love cooking my pets and my family.

    I love cooking, my pets, and my family. THAT's a technical need for commas!

    "The thought of getting home, and throwing his arms ..."

    Remove comma. I'm going to stop pointing them out now. You get the idea.

    Fiance <-- masculine
    Fiancee <-- feminine

    "she had one leg slightly raised, Her hair was glimmering"

    Lower case for Her.

    That's all of the technical stuff I care to comment on. Fix the above in your next story and you'll have me grinning from ear-to-ear.

    Now on to the story itself ...

    YOU TWAT!

    YOU TRIPLE TWAT!!!

    I was having a good morning. Got up early, did some website maintenance, deleted a member's account (at her request, sadly), got myself a bagel, made sure I was comfy and warm, and was looking forward to a sexy, feel-good story.

    And I got one.

    Up until you turned into a TWAT!

    TRIPLE TWAT!!!


    Had I voted, I would have voted for this story. Yes, I got some of the foreshadowing, some of the hints, and so on. Still. I had hope that there might be a twist for the end, that there was some hope for the two of them, that you'd find a way to make this a love story instead of being a TWAT!

    And fuck you too; of course I had tears, you rat bastard!

    Great story. One of the best sex passages that I've read in a long, long time. Tender without being sappy, yet, still sexually assertive. Loved it!

    And, in case I didn't make myself clear, you suck, you fucking TWAT TWAT!

    :grin::grinning::blush::tearsofjoy::tonguewink::yum::joycat::smile::smilecat::smiley::smileycat:
     
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  15. Uncle B

    Uncle B Well-Known Member

    Thanks @ahorsewithnoname .

    That is the kind of review that I welcome. I still would have welcomed it even had you hated the story. I am a big boy, I can handle having my mistakes pointed out. It's not like my old ass will ever sit in a classroom again, and this is a great way to learn. Good or bad, I will always appreciate constructive comments.

    I thought that seasons were proper nouns, but I double checked, and you are correct. Commas will forever fuck with me. I write like I speak and put them in when I would pause in a spoken sentence. A couple of mistakes you mentioned, had already caught my eye. (Fiance/fiancee, and capital H on her.)

    Thank you for your review. Even if I did have to ask you for it.
     
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