CAW 32: The Long and Winding Road

Discussion in 'Calling All Writers - CAW 32' started by AnX..., Dec 3, 2017.

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  1. AnX...

    AnX... Bloody nuisance

    CAW 32: The Long and Winding Road

    Inspired by picture 8



    "You can fuck off Bob"

    "Jen you're a slut pure and simple"

    "Maybe but I'm still worth more than you Bob, boring odd bastard, its every fucking night, suck, suck, suck. You buy me a few drinks and expect me to suck you off in the car, well not tonight, fuck you and your shit car"

    With that as my parting shot I storm off. Running into the ladies loo I check inside my purse. I have a five pound note and £2.50 in loose change. Enough for my bus fare home. Quick check of the mobile phone its 11.10pm, last bus goes 11.25, time for a quick pee and enough time to catch the bus.

    Slipping my jeans and panties down over my knee high suede boots with the 4" heels I squat over the pan and let rip. Two vodkas and a pint of bitter and I pee enough to audition for the Olympic peeing team!

    Hearing panting noises from the next stall I hitch up my jeans and risk a quick peek over the dividing wall. There's a huge black guy banging away at a small white chick, filthy bleeders fucking in the loo.

    I'm way above that standard at 26 years old. I snap a quick picture on my phone to show my room mate and skedaddle out.

    It's cold tonight and with no bra under my top and only a small leather jacket to keep out the cold my nips are stuck out like chapel hat pegs. It causes a few admiring glances from the guys and the odd raunchy comment on the way to the bus stop.

    A quick glance at the town hall clock shows I have five minutes for the bus.

    I see the number 7 bus at the stop. Its quite full but waiting. 1123. I see the bus driver look at me and he smiles, slut he mouths.

    I begin to return the smile but he starts to drive off, closing the doors and pulls away with no indication. Fucking bus drivers, I hate them. I begin to run alongside the bus and bang on the side but he just stands on the gas.

    "You fucking bastard" I scream, "Eat shit and die motherfucker" Last bus, I'm not a happy traveller.

    Looking around I see the queue at the taxi rank is only short, maybe a dozen people, mostly couples. I see them looking at me and thinking Slut. A while later I'm at the front, next cab in is mine, same sort of car as Bobs but in purple with strange green leather seats, weird.

    I give the cabbie my destination and ask how much.

    "21 quid love, give or take, out of town, gotta charge extra, take it or leave it"

    "Fuck you weirdo" I tell him, the walk will do me good.

    Walking along I start singing the song 'The Long and Winding Road' I seem to think it was sung my Paul McCartney and sing it in a Liverpool accent, but who cares if it takes my mind off this dark tree lined deserted road I travel.

    I pull my jacket tighter round me and quicken my step. Rustling leaves and whistling wheezing trees, I'm a big girl despite my small stature it doesn't bother me. The hell it doesn't, I'm fair pooing myself every noise a cause for concern, every footstep behind me a fright!

    Wait! Did I really just hear a footstep?

    Sweat, I can smell sweat, as my head jerks backwards and to my right as my hair is grabbed and pulled hard. I fall and go to my knees. As I go down a hard fist hits me in the head and I hear the word SLUT and then my collapse is complete.

    My scream is choked off in my throat as a pair of meaty calloused hands squeeze my throat. I'm struggling to breathe but kick my legs out and whirl my arms like a windmill but its like fighting fog. The hold lessons on my throat but its on fire. I start to retch and can taste bile and beer. Kicks and punches follow, raining down upon me and I feel my life ebbing away.

    I'll never have kids, I'll never see Mum and Dad again, I'll never give Bob another blow job.

    I'm alive, but I'm in pain, I hurt all over and can taste blood, I can't move my arms and realise they are fastened behind me, the pain is excruciating, whatever is binding me is cutting off the circulation. I have difficulty in breathing and realise my head is in some kind of bag restricting my breath.

    He's here I know, and start to kick out as my legs aren't secure. A fist to the face stops further kicking.

    He pulls off one boot and bares my foot, weird, yes, he lightly tickles my foot and I feel a wetness on my toes. Oh my god he's licking my toes, this gets more bizarre methinks.

    He's pulling my jeans and panties down now, my bare bottom stinging on the gravel. So we're still by the roadside that means I could still up and run.

    I now have one leg in my jeans and one boot still on. My ass is bare and he turns me over onto my tummy. He pushes a finger in my tight little arse hole and asks if I like it. I must remember his voice, he sounds like a southerner.

    I hear a vehicle approach and he drags me into the bushes by my legs.

    "Hush" he says.

    The vehicle speeds straight past us and he drags me further into the bushes. He pushes me down and I hear a zipper being opened.

    Another vehicle, but this sounds different, like a screaming noise, high speed reverse perhaps.

    Doors open, lights blare, voices shouting people moving around. I pass out.

    I hear another voice, not his but softer. I can see, lots of lights, blue, red, orange, pretty, I pass out.

    I come round to a girl of similar age to me dressed in green holding my hand.

    "Its over, my name is Tina, I'm an ambulance technician, you're in safe hands now.

    I pass out.

    I open my eyes wide, I'm drenched in sweat, my beds wet and cold but I'm hot and breathless. I can taste blood in my mouth and realise my lip is bleeding. I look round me, confused. Tina is holding my hand.

    "Jen, its me, Tina, you're having a nightmare, come on wake up sweetie, its all over now"
     
    fantasysflirt likes this.
  2. 1 Toy Maker

    1 Toy Maker Well-Known Member

    Hum hum hum, I like the way its written, reminds me of home. The story was easy enough to follow with a large section of humor thrown in.
     
  3. Missrachael

    Missrachael Queen of Cheshire

    Damn! I was really enjoying the danger of that story and from a female perspective, understanding the fear but it was over, almost as quickly as it started. Excellent colloquial writing, guessing a fellow northern English person, just wish it had explored the story further. Well done though, I liked that a lot!
     
  4. Uncle B

    Uncle B Well-Known Member CAW Winner

    The first word that comes to mind is, GRITTY. This is the type of writing that makes me think of cheap crime novels. That doesn't mean that the writing is cheap, just the cost of the book.

    I have never been quiet about my distaste for rape stories, but this stopped short on that. There was definitely an assault, but no actual rape. I think this did a great job of showing something that is definitely scary in life.

    Part of what I love about CAW is trying to figure out who wrote what. In this case I have no idea. Is the writer really British, or a really good mimic? There are plenty of UK terms, but I can't shake the feeling that it might not be authentic. That is what I love!

    I like this one a lot, it is very easy to read, but also touches on some very interesting things. I wonder if the writer meant Bob to be an anagram for boring odd bastard. I found that funny.

    Anyway, I like this one. It felt real, and had a dark, scary turn. It also includes a picture number, and that is becoming a thing for me. Good work.
     
  5. Missrachael

    Missrachael Queen of Cheshire

    I'm writing on actually being British and I'm going to stick with Northern too!

    As for reference to pictures, I think some may have forgotten to list their photo and I notice a couple have had the photo number added @Uncle B
     
  6. AnX...

    AnX... Bloody nuisance

    I thought it could be longer, but it was a nice read.
     
  7. Pars001

    Pars001 #1 Knight Writer KAW Winner

    Not bad the action was good. I am not a fan of the rape genre either though this was well written. Not too many terms that were British to dissuade the meaning to an American reader.
     
  8. Justanotherslut

    Justanotherslut Active Member

    A quick read. A little more character building may have been nice.
     
  9. Redbeard1031

    Redbeard1031 Well-Known Member

    That song keeps playing on in my head like it is a song track playing on behind the action of the story. I enjoyed this story . Thanks for your submission.
     
  10. Little Miss K

    Little Miss K Naughty but Nice CAW Winner

    A tale that could be terrifying, but came out okay in the end. :eek:

    So I have never been in a dangerous situation like this, but I have had some scary falls from a horse, it is interesting the weird thoughts that go through your mind when something life threatening is happening. I think the mental thoughts that were written here were great. The thought of being raped is so scary to me. To be powerless, and taken advantage of is so horrible. I'm glad that this didn't take this up to the next level. :confused:

    I am left with questions, but it didn't detract from the overall. Who was the attacker? Was he caught by the good Samaritan in the car? Who did stop, and what happened?

    Anyway, It was pretty short, but it had my attention enough so that I wanted more. :(

    Thanks for a story that was scary in a different way. :)
     
  11. ejls

    ejls Well-Known Member Staff Member CAW Founder CAW Winner

    I really need more from this story. Too many unanswered questions, too little background. When this is over and before you post it under your own name, please think about making it a bit longer.
     
    fantasysflirt likes this.
  12. 1 Toy Maker

    1 Toy Maker Well-Known Member

    So you are more than just a pretty face. Good job AnX. I liked this.
     
  13. AnX...

    AnX... Bloody nuisance

    This was my first CAW and only the second story I've written, my first was a semi auto bio ramble to see if I could get into it.

    To answer some questions: We all know a Bob, Boring Odd Bastard, in a group there's always one, but he's normally also the guy who would go hungry and give you his last meal too.

    It was written as a nightmare, which is probably the scariest thing we go through personally. We all have nightmares from time to time if we are worried about things. I thought I had given clues to the nightmare, everyone looking at Jen mouthed "slut", everything was against her and the same but weird coloured car, fighting fog and bag over the head was a reference to the covers and quilt. No rape took place because that was the fear and in a nightmare the final act never really happens. Have you ever landed when falling? Tina was her room mate. It was short because nightmares are, plus I know I tend to ramble on a bit. I gave it a song title because, don't you often get an "ear worm" that just plays in your mind and doesn't go away. I tried to inject some humour as I try to in all my numerous irrelevant posts.

    Thank you for the comments, I now understand why you need them, its educational, fun and best of all you know that people have taken the time to read even if they dislike the style.

    Thanks to @fantasysflirt for encouraging me to write and for immediately guessing which one.
     
    bistander and fantasysflirt like this.
  14. 1 Toy Maker

    1 Toy Maker Well-Known Member

    Good job son