CAW 32: Scary Story

Discussion in 'Calling All Writers - CAW 32' started by 1 Toy Maker, Dec 3, 2017.

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  1. 1 Toy Maker

    1 Toy Maker Well-Known Member

    CAW 32: Scary Story

    It was a unusually dark and stormy Wednesday night, the wind howled over the open veld, kicking up dust devils and dragging loose tumbleweed along in its wake as it crossed the dead land. The storm clouds that had begun massing in the early afternoon lurked overhead like menacing clowns ready to unleash a torrent of water buckets over the unsuspecting lands. A small farmstead sat seemingly all on its own in the midst of the inclement weather. Huddled on the porch two brawny farm hands sat staring out over their lands, there was nothing left for them to do but wait out the night and hopefully the storm. All the sheep had been rounded up and confined to their pens, the sheds securely closed and all the doors and windows battened down.



    “What the fuck bro! Are you telling the same story I was in?”

    “Ummm, yes. Don't you like it?”

    “Dude the story is going to sound like a fucking fairy tale any ways without you going all creative on us.”

    “Fine! Give me that beer and you write it.”



    It was a normal shitty day, sitting on the stoep the two brothers looked over the arid dust bowl that they called a farm. The sun was beating down, unrelenting, there wasn't a cloud in the sky and there hadn't been in almost two years. The whole of the Cape was stuck in the worst drought it had see for over a century, level 5 water restrictions had been implemented last week, an 87 litres of water a day allowance or massive fines. The sheep browsing listlessly were a stark reality of the harshness they currently lived in, their coats barely showing signs of regrowth after last years shearing, the stubbly wool a reddish brown from the dust constantly swirling around in the puffs of wind.



    As the end of the day was fast approaching, two brothers got up in unison and began their rounds of the farm, one going left the other right, each following the same pattern that he had for the last ten years. If nothing was amiss they would meet back at the stoep in about 45 minutes which they duly did. With no problems encountered they had nothing to do, so as usual, the two brothers agreed on a beer and movie while having dinner together.



    “Jesus bro, you complain about me, are you going to put in that I went to the bathroom too? And shook it more than three times?”

    “Okay, what do you want me to write? I know that we just agreed that we were just going to load the facts onto a blog. Then you went all Enid Blyton on us so I added a little bit of story to it as well.”

    “I guess we should just stick to the basic facts.”

    “So what, you don't want any personality or story telling in it?”

    “Okay, can we just start at the part where we were watching TV? I mean does anyone need to know that we are two guys farming brown sheep with no water?”

    “Fine let me start again. Won't you go rustle up something for us to munch while I do this.”



    The events described here in occurred on Thursday the 19 of October 2017 at approximately 7:30 pm on a small sheep farming 15 minutes drive north of Port Nolloth. A 35 year old white male and his 34 year old white male brother were watching TV, a 52 inch LG lcd screen with surround sound. They were both seated on a green corduroy couch 7 feet from the screen. The movie showing was Scary Movie they were part way through the movie.



    “Oh come on bro! Now you're just taking the piss. Do you want to make this into a documentary like The Blair witch project?”

    “Well they might turn it into something like that if it goes viral.”

    “Here, eat your Nik Naks and give me the keyboard.”



    My brother and I were watching Scary Movie it was about 15 minutes into it ,at the part where Carmen Electra is running around wet in her panties while being chased by the killer, when it happened. After she’d done the pose and boobie rub she ran straight out the TV. You know like that scene in The A-Team when they save Murdoc by driving through the wall. Well it was sort of just like that, she ran out the TV and was just there in the lounge with us. The TV set went off as soon as she ran out of it. She didn't say anything just stood there silently, silently dripping. I didn't know what to say either, it's not often you have a blond goddess half naked in the room.



    “Stick to the facts.”

    “My cubby went from chubby to full on boner with her standing there half naked and all wet.”

    “Why don't you put that in the blog it's useful information Doos.”



    She just stood there and we just sat there. For MY OWN personal reasons I studied her quite closely and it soon became apparent that something wasn't right,



    “Other than the fact that she just stepped out of the TV?”

    “Piss off, how do you want me to explain that she didn't have any actually clothes on and it was just like they'd been painted on?”



    On closer inspection it looked like she didn't have any clothes on, it was as if they were part of her body. The water drops were the same, a part of the picture. With the silence growing uncomfortably long one of us said something.



    “Was it you or me? Fuck I can't even remember what was said.”

    “Me neither. First contact and we don't ever know what was said.”

    “Shit, we don't want it to sound like we just had freaky sex with a alien.”

    “Ja, put in there that we had a conversation!”

    “ Delete, delete, delete.”



    She just stood there and we just sat there. For my own personal reasons I studied her quite closely and it soon became apparent that something wasn't right with her appearance, the water droplets and clothes looked painted on, like her body was a canvas. I think if she had turned sideways just then she would have disappeared like the blade chicken on Transformers 2. As the silence grew longer I plucked up the courage and greeted her, first in English,”Hi.” then in Afrikaans “Hallo.” and finally in Xhosa “Molo.” There was no audible response, my brother tried the same, using different words though with the same lack of response. Quickly glancing at each other we shrugged our shoulders, she had moved when we looked at her again, well not quite, but she had filled out slightly her breasts now pronounced and,



    “Oh come on! You’re a damn pervert.”

    “Well what did you want me to say? “Her bellybutton had grown deeper.”

    “Get out the way, my turn to write.”



    Pam had become more three dimensional and continued to as we watched.



    “Bro it’s ‘Carmen’ not ‘Pam’.”

    “What ever, they were both hot Baywatch bimbos.”



    Carmen had become more three dimensional and continued to as we watched. Her body slowly filling out, the panties actually becoming pronounced. They no longer appeared to be painted on, more the removable kind now. It didn't take long for her to turn from cardboard cut out to full 3d, all the while we sat there quietly watching her. After what seemed like an hour of fidgeting silence we exchanged another glance and decided to try the conversation thing again. It was met yet again with the unblinking stare, she had not actually moved since she had taken that last step out of the TV into the lounge. Unsure what to do next we discussed it with each other and eventually my brother lost at Ching Chong Cha and had to tentatively poked her in the leg. It was quite a sign to see his finger disappearing into her marshmallow knee, her should be hard knee cap swallowed his finger all the way up to knuckle before he chickened out and pulled his hand back.



    “I’m a chicken? I didn't see you touching her!”

    “Ha ha ha you are so predictable.”

    “Piss off and just finish writing. I’m going to get another beer.”



    It was quite a sight to see his finger disappearing into her marshmallow knee, her should be hard knee cap swallowed his finger all the way up to knuckle before he slowly pulled his hand back. She still hasn't moved. With no reaction forth coming we took some time to explore her, poking, prodding and pinching her body, It felt weird.



    “Do we have a name for her or are we just going with It or Her?”

    “No name is good, we aren't even sure what she was.”



    Her body felt weird the skin like a thick piece of rubber, like a rubbing your fingers together around a damp wetsuit. While the panties might have started to look like panties they felt nothing like it, indestructible toilet paper comes to mind when I think about them. The other thing was I hadn't felt any solid structure in her, like bones, nothing, she was just a sponge blow up doll. Having built up a fair amount of courage over the last few minutes we stood up to inspect her head. I almost jumped out of my pants when while I was peering at her nose (I had every intention of sticking my finger up it.) She blinked.



    That tiny movement of her eyelids dropped me back down into the couch, right next to my brother. Now that she had moved once everything started moving. Her mouth opened and her chest rose as she took a breath, her arm slowly dropped and her leg moved forward till she was standing more normally, no longer in the running poise she had been in for the last hour. It was our turn to get poked and prodded now, without a word she mimicked our exact explorations from earlier. I was suddenly glad that I hadn’t got round to fingering her nose, doubly so when she stuck a hand into my brothers shorts and pinched his butt.



    “Hey was that what you doing when she blinked?”

    “Ummmm, no. I was standing next to you.”

    “Liar. Hahaha.”



    Satisfied with whatever she had ascertained she moved on, quickly and expertly examining each of our heads and faces, looking into eyes, nose, ears and mouth before trying to stick a finger in each. The examination didn't seem invasive so we let her carry on doing what she wanted, she still hasn't said anything.After the heads she lifted each of our shirts and inspected our bellybuttons and nipples.



    “Do I have to tell them about the probing?”

    “Yes, that's part and parcel of the story. Everyone who gets abducted by aliens knows you get probed, it adds authenticity as well.”

    “I guess so, alright then.”

    “Here move over, I'll write it if you are being a squeamish girl.”



    It’s saddens me to say this but it is the time when I have to tell you about the alien probing. Once It had finished with our upper bodies it pulled my brothers shorts off and carried on its inspection. My brother had an erection, who wouldn't after they had just been touched all over by a seemingly hot women in her panties, touching his erect member made him groan in appreciation. It took him in its hand and began to jack him off, I chose this time to scoot a little further away on the couch. While it was jacking him of it continued its inspection, lifting and fondling his balls, pulling at his pubic hair. It wasn't long before it found its way down to his butt and like our ears and mouth tried to stick a finger in it, It succeeded this time! This triggered a few things all at once the least of them being my brothers eyes shot wide open.



    “Shit it was funny to watch you!”

    “Fuck off and finish the story, in going to get another beer.”



    He tried to pull back but couldn't really as he had slouched into the couch, as he squirmed around It carried on systematically jacking him off and exploring his butt. Before he could escape he had a orgasm, spraying cum up and also over himself and it. The sudden eruption put it off and galvanised my brother into escaping its probing. After studying his semen on its hands for a while it licked some off. That's when I got up off the couch totally. It proceeded to lick up all the cum that it could reach before it turned its gaze on me. I must admit with the hungry gaze it turned on me I was very tempted to “feed” it straight from the source, then I pulled the shotgun from behind the couch. The cold steel and wood helped to clear my mind. No chance was I letting the alien have it’s way with me.


    The shotgun in my hands wasn't even a distraction for it, it began to advance on me. The movement of its legs didn't seem right, high mincing steps as it came towards me. I pointed and waved the shotgun at it, shouted for it to stay away. It was still unperturbed, all it did was cock its head at me like a bird before it took its next step. Unsure what to do but knowing I didn't want it touching me again I discharged the shotgun into the ceiling.



    “Not your brightest moment boet.”

    “What ever, I wasn't the one lying where I fell with my pants around my ankles.”

    “Look I'm the one going on record as getting a alien hand job and anal probing.”

    “Yay, big wank for you.”


    The sound of the shotgun was deafening in the small lounge, the dust and ceiling board pieces floating around also made seeing nearly impossible. It clearly recognised that it was in imminent danger and turned and bolted back to the TV. I couldn't really tell being semi blinded by the dust but I think it tried to dive head first into the TV. This didn't work very well for it because when the dust and debris settled It could be seen lying there on the floor in front of the now smashed TV. It lay there on the floor next to my brother who was hastily trying to get up while pulling his pants on.



    “Really boet?”

    “What ever”

    Delete delete delete delete delete.

    “Happy now?”

    “Ja fine.”



    It lay there on the floor, a sliver of glass from the TV screen sticking out of its forehead, a shiny glowing, green pool slowly forming next to its head as it leaked its essence out of the wound. After what felt like an eternity it lifted up its right arm and pushed two of its fingers into the USB ports of my PlayStation three. It didn't take long for it became noticeably thinner, I would say that within five minutes it had sucked itself into the play station. The only thing left behind the weird glowing green stuff and what looked suspiciously like a small pool of cum.



    “Tell them about the blood.”

    “Jeez bro slow down I'm getting there.”



    A closer inspection of the “Blood” pool showed that the glowing green stuff was miniature glowing numbers and letters, like the stuff running up and down the walls in the Matrix. Before I even could take a picture of it, it had faded and disappeared.



    “There you go done!”

    “I suppose.”

    “Im telling you it's that SKA thing they are building up the road here, it's messing with our minds”

    “Na fuck that bro it's them that's calling the aliens, those radio waves have alerted them that we are here.”

    “Either way having it as a neighbour isn't safe no more.”

    “Ja. Look I'm going to bed, got to be up early so I can get to town.”

    “What are you going to town for?”

    “Try to sell some shit so I can buy a new TV, maybe I'll sell some of your New Zealand rugby shit”

    “What! Hang on, I thought we agreed no TV?”

    “You need a alien hand job to lighten up.”

    “Fuck off! There it's published and on the net for the world to see.”
     
    fantasysflirt likes this.
  2. Little Miss K

    Little Miss K **Reigning CAW Champion**

    This was a fun story. :D

    There is a lot of mistakes here, some problems with tense, a few misused a/an, and at least a couple of malapropisms. :confused:

    I'm not sure if you meant to say this, but either way I liked it and it made me laugh.


    The story was pretty simple, but the way the brothers kept interrupting each other made it interesting. If something strange like this happened, the two telling the story would each want to tell it their own way. I would think that the one who got "probed" got the better deal, and don't see why the other one was so worried that he grabbed the gun. :p I guess some guys are just really not interested in the butt.

    This is the first one I read, and I enjoyed reading it. :)
     
    bistander likes this.
  3. Pars001

    Pars001 #1 Knight Writer

    ooook strange like the stuff I write lol
     
  4. Missrachael

    Missrachael Queen of Cheshire

    That was a fun story! I loved the banter and the repetition with the rewrites was really well done. Which one was going for a beer became confusing but it didn't distract from a very enjoyable read!

    Well done and good luck in the vote x
     
  5. I liked it...the mistakes were mostly easy to skip over. It was a quick and enjoyable story.
     
  6. Uncle B

    Uncle B Well-Known Member

    I think you went right to the line of becoming annoying with the brothers interruptions, but stopped before it went too far. A story like this can easily get into the absurd, but I think you did a good job of keeping it funny.

    A good proof reader could help you with some of the language mistakes. I have the impression that English is not your first language. You got the story across, but with a little polish, it would read more smoothly.

    I can't really say that I would have shot an alien Carmen Electra just for wanting to give me oral sex, but watching my brother get a blow job is definitely a scary thought. Hahaha


    This is becoming a sore spot with me I know, but you didn't add what picture it was based on. It was obviously #15, but our host did say that it was to be included. Oh well! I still enjoyed it.
     
    bistander and Missrachael like this.
  7. AnX...

    AnX... Bloody nuisance

    Funny, I enjoyed it ,but is it me or did everyone read it in a South Afrikaans accent?
     
  8. 1 Toy Maker

    1 Toy Maker Well-Known Member

    Amusing to say the least. There are some grammatical errors. I had to Google SKA.
     
  9. TertiusHuman

    TertiusHuman Well-Known Member

    It is a funny story, has a few grammatical errors which I could pick up.

    Being South African and actually knowing the areas written about, I get the feeling that a few news articles about SA got thrown together into the story. Like 15km North of Port Nolloth places you quite far away from the SKA project and the water restricted Cape.

    And if Carmen Electra suddenly popped out of my TV, I'd run lol. Oh sure it would be any geek's dream come true, a woman climbing out of your screen, but I know I'd run, because logically it is just not possible haha

    Overall a good read, I liked it
     
    bistander likes this.
  10. Redbeard1031

    Redbeard1031 Well-Known Member

    This was a good fun read and made me look at my TV in a very different way.
     
  11. ejls

    ejls Moderator Staff Member

    This was funny, but I'll admit I was lost a couple of times. Have someone help you proof it.
     
  12. bistander

    bistander Well-Known Member

    Thank God, finally a story which didn't have half the paragraphs starting with gerunds.

    An interesting and creative way to approach this challenge. As others have said, spend more time proofreading. Many don't seem to mind these disruptions, but for me, mistake take me out of the story for a split second or two, and when the number increases it starts to annoy me.

    Thanks for writing something and I hope you will continue to practice. You have a creative mind.
     
  13. ahorsewithnoname

    ahorsewithnoname Author & Admin. Live. Love. Write! Win a Pulitzer! Staff Member

    I have pros and cons for this, but since I'm late to the party, most covered it above. LMK's comment about the one line in there was the one thing I was going to bring up as an excellent example of descriptive writing. Loved it.

    The story, it was interesting, the switching back and forth. The story itself just didn't grab me, but the concept was good.