CAW 32: Bloodline

Discussion in 'Calling All Writers - CAW 32' started by TertiusHuman, Dec 3, 2017.

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  1. TertiusHuman

    TertiusHuman Well-Known Member

    CAW 32: Bloodline

    Rocky Hill is a quiet little town.

    The town where everybody knows everybody and nothing really happens.

    This is the kind of town that you will not find on any brochures in a travel agency. No, for this town is tucked away from all the major roads and freeways and is almost nonexistent on a map. Of course, the only way to really find this cozy little town is if
    you know where you are going, if you know someone who lives here, or if you have gotten yourself lost.

    Now despite its name, Rocky Hill isn’t located on or near a hill. The name came from the founder of the town, a certain Mr. Rockford Hill: otherwise known as Rocky, to all his friends and neighbours. Fertile ground, lush green meadows, a clear creek and good ground water jump-started this small farming community and kept it going through the years. Wars came and went. People were born, grew up and died. Every now and then, somebody would answer the allure of the outside world, but their numbers were small and inconsequential in the long haul.

    And this is exactly how the inhabitants of Rocky Hill like it. Now don’t get me wrong, the good people of Rocky Hill aren’t so reclusive that they see newcomers or strangers as threats. In fact, you couldn’t find a more hospitable town or friendlier people than you will here. They just like their life as it is. They like their routines and the total monotony of their days. The only exception to this is Halloween.

    This particular Halloween was on a Friday, a day which started off as any other Friday ever started since the founding of the town. The black crows cawed overhead in the clear blue sky as the sun rose from behind the low, rolling hills and shone brightly down onto the peaceful, rustic town where people went about their business like any other day.

    The only difference to this Friday is that for an hour there won’t be any contact with the outside world, whether it be through land line, satellite feed or radio signal. This happened around an hour before sunrise; a time when a majority of the people in the community is asleep. For only the early rising farmers find themselves without radio to keep them company as they went about their work.

    Excitement grew among the younger denizens as the sun started its descent towards the trees on the western edge of town. Halloween was not a big event in Rocky Hill, but it also wasn’t every day that a child could be outside past their bed time and be rewarded for doing so! As darkness settled upon the land and street lamps started to sputter to life; ghosts, ghouls, cowboys, celebrities and an assortment of various monsters started to wander the streets.

    Even though the older crowd or citizens did not dress up, a few adventurous types braved the scolding tongue of Mrs. Cost and held their own trick or treating party among the gravestones. The Costs lived next to the town cemetery, as the house was originally a shack in which the cemetery custodian had lived for many years. Eventually after his passing, old Mr. Cost had bought the ground from the town council and built a house. Some people say that old Mr. Cost had a taste for the macabre, while some say he was just eccentric. There were a few rumours that went around, especially among the impressionable young children, that he actually performed necromancy. Of course, these claims had never been substantiated.

    Old Mr. Cost’s wife, Eunice, passed away when their son was only two years old. This had left old Mr. Cost alone to tend his only son Michael, and tended to him he did! Michael had never wanted for anything, nor did his father ever spoil him either. Everything Michael ever wanted, he had to work for it. Old Mr. Cost was fair in all his dealings, especially those involving his son. Michael was one of those who left Rocky Hill after school to study. When he returned to Rocky Hill, not only did he bring back a diploma, but he also brought back his fiancée Lucy. Now Lucy was a strict person, even back then. Strict, but also very fair and that must be what convinced old Mr. Cost that she was the perfect match for his son. Michael, who of course is not only honest as the day is long, but he also had quite a tender streak about him. Lucy would be just that perfect person who could bring out his softer side. She never did manage to erase the tender streak in Michael though.

    It was a bright day filled with sunshine and hope when Michael and Lucy said their vows. Their marriage was a quiet affair, with only a few friends and relatives in attendance. They stayed on in Cost’s Cottage as old Mr. Cost’s health was rapidly declining. Some said that he had been poisoned, while some mentioned that perhaps he was just old. The rumours however persisted that the dark arts were taking their toll on him. In fact, old Mr. Cost was just old and had contracted a virus which invaded the airways in his lung which no amount of medical care could remove or cure.

    It was a sad day in Cost’s Cottage when old Mr. Cost breathed his last breath. The news touched the town as well, but not as much as it had touched Michael and Lucy Cost. Of course, it has been said that when one life dies, another one is born. There were rumours around town that Lucy was pregnant. This was evident by her protruding stomach straining against the curve hugging black dress she wore to the funeral. The funeral was not a small affair, for old Mr. Cost had been a popular man, despite the tall tales which surrounded him. He had been granted his last dying wish: for he was laid to rest next to his beloved Eunice. Everybody felt that not only was it right, but it would also mean that old Mr. Cost will have no need to return from the grave.

    Which was true for the town called Rocky Hill.

    But back then, the inhabitants didn’t know it.

    Now we shift our focus to a few years later and the Halloween which changed it all. A small group of six youths, three girls and three boys, have gathered in the middle of the cemetery. The mood of the gathering was cheerful, but they tried to not make too much noise because they did not want to wake the neighbours. Nor do they want to fall under the lash of Lucy Cost’s sharp tongue. Candles lit their small party and beer and sandwiches laid out in the middle of the grass as they sat and talked about school and sports.

    To the north were a freshly made grave, the marble glittering softly in the pale moonlight and seated on the black slab covering the grave with her back against the headstone, was Laura. Laura wasn’t a loner; in fact, she was quite popular among her peers. But what made Laura sit alone that particular evening, was the fact that it was her first Halloween without Tommy.

    Her beloved Tommy, with his tousled curly brown hair, sparkling green eyes and lazy smile which made her heart skipped a beat. Her beloved Tommy, who could make her laugh, and with whom she could talk to about anything and anyone. Tommy, in whose arms she felt safe and protected.

    The grave, on which she sat, belonged to Tommy.

    A freak accident took him from her. It was not an everyday occurrence that a wheel just comes loose on a slow moving vehicle and crashed into a young man out on the street riding his bicycle. The news had crippled Laura and drove her down into the depths of despair. It had turned her away from her friends and her family. In the end she found refuge in just one place, which was in her mind. She would get lost in the happy memories of her beloved Tommy.

    With feet drawn up, fingers interlaced and resting on her shins as her face rested against the pillow of her thighs, Laura was remembering all the good times she had spent with Tommy. She cried. She smiled. Finally she lifted her head, raising her hands to display the little plastic bag which housed two tablets. Lisa had told her that they were called “Happy Tabs” and that they would help the user forget his or her troubles and worries, if only temporarily. This was exactly what Laura wanted right now. She needed time away from all the memories. From all the bittersweet reminders that Tommy was not with her anymore, nor will he ever be. She opened the wrapper and dumped the tablets directly into her mouth, opening the bottle of water at her side and drinking it all down. She rested her head against the headstone and stared up at the sky, waiting for something to happen: for her to drift away and to feel disconnected.

    Instead, the moon came into view and she realized that she had slipped from her seated position and was now lying on her back. She didn’t mind, for it actually felt good. What felt even better was the familiar hands which undid her shoes and removed them along with her socks: the familiar hands which knew just where to press all the erogenous zones on her body. And the loving lips which knew just how to kiss her hungry mouth and teeth which knew exactly where to nibble. She relaxed even more at the familiarity of it all. Not sure if this was happening, or if she was just having a very vivid recollection, she closed her eyes and sighed softly as the attention of the familiar hands and mouth moved slowly upwards over her bare legs. Teasing and pleasing her in a maddening, but loveable, way. Making her body want and need him.

    “Tommy??”

    Her voice was soft, barely audible. It almost caught in her throat and she wanted to open her eyes, but could not. The hands grazed over her panties and she could feel the tickle of hair against her inner thighs as those lips kept kissing their way along an intricate path known only to one man. Tommy was the only person who knew how to make her body shake and quiver with uncontrollable desire, with uncontrollable lust.

    Her mind rebelled against the thoughts that Tommy was here with her! How can this be?? But the proof was there: the familiar touch, the kisses, the fingers pressing just the right spots and caressing exactly where she needed. The cool air against her damp skin came as a light shock as she felt her panties slip down her legs and then the familiar pressure against her inner thighs. Feeling her legs being pushed open, she whimpered in anticipation. She wasn’t disappointed, as the mouth covered her moist glistening pink lips and the tongue started to lick and delve in a way which gave her goose bumps. She bit her lips lightly and clenched her fists so she wouldn’t moan too loudly.

    After all…she didn’t want to wake the neighbors.

    It only took a few moments, but it felt like an eternity, when the pleasure became too much for her as her body convulsed as an intense orgasm washed over her. She could feel the fingers now undoing the buttons of her blouse. She felt familiar fingers probing and exploring her skin, pushing the cups of her bra upwards and exposing her breasts. She moaned again as the fingers teased and pushed, kneading her firm breasts, knowing exactly how to pleasure and antagonize her.

    The fact that she could not open her eyes did not bother her right then; in fact, she loved it. It added to the excitement. It brought back memories of the time when Tommy blindfolded her, and teased her mercilessly with a long white feather before she begged him to take her. That felt good back then, but this? This was a thousand times better.

    The lips came to play as well and she writhed in the ecstasy, her nails digging into her palms. She clenched her teeth as she tried desperately to keep her voice down, for she didn’t want to wake the neighbors. After what seemed like an eternity of sweet torture and being on the brink of another orgasm, the hands finally relented and she felt her top and bra fall away from her body. She felt her skirt slide down her legs, leaving her naked skin exposed to the cool air. The masterful and strong hands returned then; making her obey out of habit.

    She felt the cold marble against her stomach, felt the familiar body pushing up against her back, against her buttocks as the hands reached out and tugged at her firm breasts, gently squeezing and teasing them.

    She tensed for what was to come: it would be a new sensation for her, but she wanted it to be as familiar as all the rest. She felt the penetration, the pause and then the slow rhythmic movement, pushing deeper with each slow thrust. There was no pain; only a strange feeling of fullness and as her fingers gripped the stone underneath her, she shuddered and felt her legs shake. She gripped onto the headstone even tighter to prevent herself from falling. She felt her head nodding, nodding…

    Suddenly, Laura woke up with a jolt. She saw her discarded clothes in disarray of colours around the grave. She could also hear the soft voices of the group of teenagers and hear her own ragged breathing as her body moved along with the thrusts from behind her. She could not look back though; she could only lose herself in the pleasure of this new sensation. The familiarity of the body altered slightly; after all, this was not the cuddling she was accustomed to. She felt his skin move over hers and the familiar hands had now left temporarily her breasts and were holding her hips in position.

    This new stimulation, built on the previous, and the uniqueness of the moment helped her orgasm along. It felt like her nails would break on the marble as she was gasped for air. She had to stifle her moans of pleasure.

    After all, she didn’t want to wake the neighbors.

    Her second orgasm washed over her as she felt her knees buckle. She pressed up against the cold marble as she felt the invader push deep inside her and felt a warm sensation flood over her. Felt it reach deep within her womb as a strange groan filled the night. It was then that she managed to look behind her.

    Her scream froze inside her chest. It was Tommy.

    Tommy’s crushed face, worms crawling beneath the broken skin.

    Tommy’s milky eyes from which fluid dripped

    Tommy’s open mouth, from which came the groan.

    Tommy’s grave stone pressing up against her face.

    Laura wanted to scream but couldn’t. She scrambled to her feet, turned and ran…right into the arms of Michael Cost!! Her relief was short-lived; however, as she felt Michael’s strong hands grip her neck and felt him choke the life out of her as he sank his hungry fangs into her neck. Tommy was the last thing on Laura’s mind as she felt her eyes close and felt herself sink into unconsciousness. Before she sank into eternal darkness….

    Spring, the following year..

    It was a warm and sunny spring day for the christening of Michael and Lucy’s baby. A bouncing eight pound baby boy they named Matei, a Romanian name which means “Gift from God.” It was pronounced MATT-TAY. He was just simply Matt to everyone else. Everyone in town came out to see the new baby and to offer their congratulations to the happy couple. As Lucy walked past the trees on the lawn of the cemetery, baby Matei’s tiny hands brushed the headstone of a grave.

    The inscription on the gravestone read “Laura Smith, loved by her parents and Tommy.”

    Rocky hill is a quiet town.

    The people are friendly and generous.

    They keep to themselves and they keep their secrets; even if those secrets are hundreds of years old. The town didn’t know that Tommy’s bike crashed into Cost’s Cottage that fateful Halloween night; that very same night when Old Mr. Cost helped Tommy to his feet after his fall and brought him into the cottage. And without Tommy’s knowledge or consent, old Mr. Cost sank his hungry fangs into Tommy’s young neck and drained him out of all his blood. Nor did the town know that old Mr. Cost came from a long line of vampires, his lineage dating back to over 300 years. In a remote and desolate place in Eastern Europe called Romania. Michael’s name was originally spelled Mihail, but Old Mr. Costescu changed it to avoid suspicions. Just like he shortened his last name because some secrets are better kept within the family, especially in a small town like Rocky Hill. Mihail knew that his son Matei would carry on the family tradition; to keep the long lasting bloodline going...



    For Rich aka WantSomeFun
     
    fantasysflirt likes this.
  2. 1 Toy Maker

    1 Toy Maker Well-Known Member

    I'm ambivelent about it, its well written and fits the scary theme well but just doesnt seem to grab me. Its like I missed reading a page so lost the plot.
     
  3. AnX...

    AnX... Bloody nuisance

    It raised the hair on my neck
     
  4. Uncle B

    Uncle B Well-Known Member

    Very nicely done. I like the use of repetition, telling us about Rocky Hill again and again. It's easy to go too far with it, but it was used very well here. Nice description of a small town with a dark secret.

    A tiny complaint about the names. You had a Laura, a Lucy, and a Lisa. For a reader, it got a me little confused. Not a big deal, but it might be easier to differentiate names that not so close.

    There were many small mistakes that caught me, but didn't fully take me out of the story.

    I know people are getting tired of me saying this, but no picture number to go along with the title.

    This is going on my list of possibilities.
     
  5. bistander

    bistander Well-Known Member

    First of all, good story and thank you for taking the time and putting in the effort to entertain us. You did well.

    There was one place that you lost me, but I was able to backtrack and pick it up. There were a few grammatical errors and a couple of places the author could have work a little more on the sentence structure to strengthen the story as a whole.

    Please, keep practicing and learning because you will get even better.

    p.s. In this one, the picture I was reading about didn't jump out at me. It can be figured out without much thought at the end, but in the other stories I read, it was really obvious.
     
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2017
  6. Very good story, for the most part I followed along quite well. Loved the ending when all is explained.
     
  7. fantasysflirt

    fantasysflirt Active Member

    Ahh a vampire story! Nice build up.
    I wonder though... Does Laura know her husband is a vampire? Is Laura a vampire s well?
     
  8. ejls

    ejls Moderator Staff Member

    This was a brilliantly told story. That's what I want. Anyone can learn to write, although we all know you find your last errors after you push submit. Not everyone can tell a good story. This was so well told, I didn't mind the errors.
     
  9. Redbeard1031

    Redbeard1031 Well-Known Member

    This was a well told and interesting story that kept me interested during the whole reading experience. Well done and thanks for your submission.
     
  10. ahorsewithnoname

    ahorsewithnoname Author & Admin. Live. Love. Write! Win a Pulitzer! Staff Member

    I don't know about this one. I see some flashes of brilliance, but, I got lost in the top third of the story. Perhaps it was just me. I rarely ever go back and re-read a story during a competition, but I may need to do that just because I'm perplexed about this one.
     
  11. Little Miss K

    Little Miss K **Reigning CAW Champion**

    Oh my God, can you even imagine? :eek::eek::eek:

    Scary, creepy, back to scary, then kind of nauseating, then terrifying! My thoughts went all over the place when it turned out that Tommy was not only still dead, but that Laura had been making love to a rotting corpse! I had believed that somehow her love had been returned to her a whole person again. Even a vampire would have been fine, but worms in his face?AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! :eek: That is such a horrible thought, I might have nightmares about this one. :(

    The writing here was very good, with lots of description, and backstory. The sexy scene was working for me right up until it all went wrong. (YUCK!) That is what made it such a good horror twist.

    My problem with this would be more with the plot. At times the backstory was hard to follow, and keep up with where we were in time. :confused: I got it all figured out eventually, so no biggie, but the vampire angle didn't really do it for me. I was thinking that the Cost family had been working on experiments with reanimation, or some arcane dark arts, maybe even some deal with the devil to get their own child. Vampirism doesn't explain why Tommy would rise from the dead after being buried. If he was turned into a vampire himself, wouldn't his wounds have been healed? And did no one in town question how Laura died? :(

    I also wondered why Laura "Suddenly woke up" in the middle of sex. That might be explained by the happy pills she took, or maybe this was the second round of intercourse. It was not a huge problem, but something that bothered me.

    This story is scary, and so very disturbing, for that I really like it. I'm a huge fan of horror. :) I only wish there was a better explanation for it all.
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2017
  12. Missrachael

    Missrachael Queen of Cheshire

    I read this and two others last night and decided to leave my comments until today. At first I thought it was because I was tired but I was a little confused in the early part but now I see I wasn't alone. However this didn't detract from a powerful, goose bumps filled tale. Well done!