CAW 32: Asmodeu's Love

Discussion in 'Calling All Writers - CAW 32' started by fantasysflirt, Dec 3, 2017.

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  1. fantasysflirt

    fantasysflirt Active Member

    CAW 32: Asmodeu's Love

    The blood hurling scream came from the Northside in the dark hours of the night. Leila heard the scream from her territory, wondering who the trespasser was, she ran at lightning speed to defend her long-term claimed land. The sight before would have been frightening to a simple minded human but to a known elite Princess, she was appalled at the audacity of this red toned creature of the night. Asmodeus had tracked a Cambion, half human and half demon, or a demonic human.

    Asmodeus tracked Chamos to the Northside Cemetery to give him an assignment. Upon the rejection of the assignment, the red skinned demon of lust blasted the cambion with a high voltage energy ball. Chamos dropped to the mud in a fit of disbelief, a once longtime friend had tried to kill him. Asmodeus wasted no time in dropping to his knees, throttling his revival as the scream came from Chamos’s burning lungs.
    Leila stood by watching as Asmodeus ripped the singed flesh from the dead man, leaning down and chewing the muscle and tendons from his catch. Cambions are just like petty humans, won’t do anything too evil. If only Chamos had listened, he wouldn’t be a snack for Asmodeus. Leila seen the dead man, her beau from years ago. In a fit of anger, Leila crashed into the demon and bit into his shoulder. The pure taste of evil was a treat for Leila. The mixture of blood and sweat was just the heady potion she had lusted for since Chamos chose the demon side of life.

    Asmodeus felt the tear in his skin from the albino skinned beast, the sound of her sucking his thick warm blood combined with the pain of her fangs seeping into his skin was too much for him to bear. Asmodeus groaned in demonic masochist pleasure as he threw the woman to the ground. She felt her fangs being torn from his neck, just a little deeper and she would have had him.

    Instead she looked up into the coal black eyes of a demon. The hands on her neck, squeezing the life from her, her body thrashing beneath his over powered his urges. Asmodeus felt his weakness for sex overpower his need for revenge. Leila watched as the coal black eyes flashed a brazen reddish hue. Leila was mesmerized, powerless even to the demon above her.

    Between her legs, she felt the throbbing need of the demon. Terror swept over her, she’d heard rumors from her kingdom about the prowess’s of the high-ranking demons. The pain slashed into her body from the force of his knee, opening her up for the longest and thickest specimen she had ever had, or ever would have. For the second time in the night, a blood curling scream could be heard.

    The pain paralyzed her long enough for Asmodeus to hike up her skirt and yank her silky panties down her amazing thighs. He looked down and sneered at the beautifully shaven mound. He was going to watch his weapon slowly sink into his latest victim. This hot bitch was going to learn tonight to be careful who she takes her meals from. Leila felt the hand tighten around the back of her neck, dragging her up forcing the silk garment down and the rocks to graze her ass cheeks. Marked for life she would be, in more ways than one.
    Asmodeus spoke to her for the first time. “A vampire as slutty as you should know better than to drink blood from a Prince.”

    Leila blinked, a prince. “Since when do the Princes grace us with Their presence?”
    Asmodeus laughed and whispered “I am Asmodeus, and you are now my nightly entertainment. Who are you, so I know who’s name to call when I blast my seed into you.”

    Leila froze in fear, she knew she was ovulating. “Please do…don’t. I’ll suck you. Don’t penetrate my bare pussy.”

    Asmodeus clamped his hand down across her Albino neck, squeezing contracting her throat muscles and larynx forcing her to shut up. Asmodeus didn’t want to deal with the screams of this delicious vixen vampire as he thrust his steel rod straight up in the dry canal. A loud groan of pure bliss was the worst sound Leila ever heard. She couldn’t scream, not even whisper a single word. As Asmodeus looked down into the dark wide eyes of the woman beneath him. The snarky smile on his lips never wavered as he rammed his hips into the fertile woman beneath.

    Slowly Asmodeus started to press his palm up against the muscles, flexing his fingers around the throat, his smile widened as he felt the tightening of the walls around his thick pistoning rod. Leila felt her larynx and throat being closed off. She tried to scream but barely even was able to make a choking sound. She felt the thickening cock ripping her dry tight hole to pieces, or so it felt that way to her. Frozen in fear, she laid motionless looking up into the black eyes of demon and saw pure lust. This one wasn’t like the others, he was a lust filled demon not the killers she knew. She could feel the mauling of her breasts and the pinching twisting of one nipple, Asmodeus nearly twisted so hard it bled. Panic raced through her veins, the unyielding raping of her hairless unprotected baby making hole, what would she do if he did shoot his fertile sperm straight into her, straight to the egg?

    Then Leila heard the best thing ever, Asmodeus was moaning of his near orgasm. As he rammed down, crushing her hips, his very fertile white goo pumped out into his nightly entertainment. His heart was racing, for dry motionless fuck, this one was good. He leaned down and licked the tears from her cheeks and whispered into her ear. “You will be protected, you will live, and you will be my vixen vampire sex slave. Or I will finish choking your delicious looking throat.”

    As an afterthought, Asmodeus squeezed twice as hard, scaring Leila into submission she blinked three times. One blink for each letter, Y – E – S. The snarky smile returned as he removed his clutching hand, the finger shaped bruises were very deep and dark. As he looked down over the bruised and scabbed body he seen the bruised pinch marks on her chest and the scabbing of a nipple, the battered pussy, and the bruised hips. All of which were evidence of the brutal encounter.

    Leila learned to never deny this Prince of his right to her body. Leila laid there and prayed his swimmers wouldn’t find the fertile egg. Asmodeus pulled out of his new victimized slave. Leila watched as he stood and offered a hand to help her up tentatively she reached out and grasped the helping hand. Asmodeus made sure she was capable of standing before he began to vanish, the last thing he said before vanishing.

    “You’re now protected by the Royal Underground. I’ll be in touch.” Then he was gone. Gone like the wind. Leila nodded, she was a chosen one. No one would dare mess with her or her territory now that she was protected by two Royal families, being the daughter of a Vampire Lord and his wife offered some protection, but to be a chosen one for one of the Princes of Hell. This would offer more protection and opportunities as well.

    As time progressed Leila noticed a few changes around the city. There were less visitors from other species to her land, then the changes in her sight, hearing, and sense of smell. Leila rather liked being one of the chosen, until the signs started forming more. The ovulation took Asmodeus’s evil swimmers on a ride that Leila would never forget or forgive him for.

    Asmodeus wanted to have her again, he came to the cemetery and waited for her return. Leila could smell the royal evil blood from miles away, she knew he would be there waiting for her. But what would his reaction be to find her nearly five months pregnant?

    Leila spoke to him as if she looked forward to seeing him, coming up from behind she said, “Your evil blood gave you away. I could smell you before I crossed the boundary lines.” Asmodeus smiled and turned toward his vampire vixen. His eyes grew wide, he knew that no other creature would dared to have touched her after he had laid claim to her. The child was his.

    Asmodeus eyes Leila’s pregnant belly then finally asked “Is that why you would have rather been forced to give me a blowjob?” He walked to her and reached out to touch the bump. He could feel the demon child moving, a feisty one it would be. He watched as Leila fought the tears and nodded. Asmodeus appeared to have a heart as he wrapped his arms around the mother of his child. He whispered, “the child and you will be cared for by both our families.”

    At his words the damn broke, Leila cried into his chest. She hadn’t expected such a reaction from him. The Princess and Lord would be pleased to learn of this news, to know that the Underworld and the Underground would look out for what would one day become the greatest Sorcerer of both species, maybe the feud would be over forever, maybe there would be peace between the Demons and Vampires once again. If Leila doesn’t kill the father of her child once he is born. She could feel it growing inside and knew that the rape child would be a force to be reckoned with, a son of a Royalty.

    Late in the year, Leila was heard as the pain of birthing a demonic vampire tore through her. Princess Athena appeared out of nowhere, running to her oldest child’s side. The first grandson of the Royal Underworld was about to be born. The Princess assumed the role of birthing a newborn, while the Lord and Sorcerer were summoned to perform a sacred ceremony enriching the child’s life of it’s heritage. The Royal chains of the Vampire Underworld and Demonic Underground would be passed down to the first-born grandson of both families as soon as the baby was proven to be healthy and alive.

    Lord Chaven and Sorcerer Lucifer waited until the Princess held the squirming child to them for the ceremony to be performed. The ritual is pronounced official and ends with a slight stinging nip from the Lord’s fangs and a low-grade energy filled fire marble sized ball tossed onto the nipped skin from the Sorcerer. Lady Lilith awaits in the wings for this part, as she will heal the wounds to an extent. The child is now ready to be seen by all and held protectively by his mother, as demonic tradition states the father will now name the babe.

    Asmodeus touched the royal markings and pronounced but a single word. “Abigar”

    The Royal families nodded their approval, Prince Abigar the newborn baby to the heir of the Underworld throne, Princess Leila and Prince Asmodeus, the next Sorcerer of the Underground.

    Lady Lilith and Sorcerer Lucifer walked out into the wooded lands then vanished, just before the mother of what will be Abigar’s human love comes out of her home. Princess Athena and Lord Chaven stayed with the new family ensuring no one, human or creature, disturbed the Royal babe as he bonded with Asmodeus and Leila.

    Leila smirked to herself, as she planned for a time in the future when she wouldn’t need the rapist that held her demonic vampire son.
     
  2. 1 Toy Maker

    1 Toy Maker Well-Known Member

    Interesting story, could do with a little touch up here and there for the grammar side of things.
     
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  3. Missrachael

    Missrachael Queen of Cheshire

    Ok, I accept I'm a grammar Nazi but this story desperately needed proofing. I apologise because the premise of the story was of a wonderful fantasy world and it was good. For the author, I'd be happy to assist in proofing future work.
     
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  4. AnX...

    AnX... Bloody nuisance

    I had to read this several times to get it, sometimes because I was interrupted, others because I couldn't sink into the characters but on the whole I enjoyed it and can see it going somewhere. I liked "mauling of her breasts and the pinching twisting of one nipple" sex scene. Safe to read but frightening.
     
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  5. TertiusHuman

    TertiusHuman Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry but I couldn't get into the story. It has a lot of potential, but I lost interest half way. I picked up a few spelling and a few grammar mistakes and I have to agree that a proofreader could have sorted out a few niggles and perhaps have helped with character development.
     
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  6. Pars001

    Pars001 #1 Knight Writer

    strange like me interesting
     
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  7. Uncle B

    Uncle B Well-Known Member

    I think the phrase you were looking for is "Blood Curdling". One point you said Hurling, and another time used Curling. Unless this is a regional thing, I would use curdle. You also had a problem with going from past to present tense a few times. Need to be more careful.

    The beginning was hard for me to keep up with. That might be more my problem than the writing. A lot was happening, and I felt like I wasn't getting it all. After that, you did a good job of explaining not only the action, but a quick overview of the Vampire/Demon relations.

    The sex was very off putting. Rape is not my thing, and the part about her dry canal wasn't the least bit enjoyable. The choking made me uncomfortable. In fact, I disliked the entire encounter.

    I think I would have enjoyed the story more had the sex been aggressive, but at least consensual. The idea of a demon and vampire Romeo and Juliet is interesting. But with the violent rape, this just didn't work for me.
     
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  8. ejls

    ejls Moderator Staff Member

    Yes, there were errors, but we all know that as soon as we push submit, dammit don't we find one? In your case, please find someone to proof your work. I did not enjoy this story because of the rape, but I applaud your efforts.
     
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  9. Little Miss K

    Little Miss K **Reigning CAW Champion**

    Well that was something different. :confused:

    I'm just going to get it out of the way first. The sex was awful. Not only violent, but it seemed like there was so much hate. Not necessarily between rapist and victim, but towards women in general. Some of the words you choose were horrible. :(

    Now, after thinking about this story for awhile, I came to a conclusion that I can accept, and that will let the author off the hook. It is awful, and violent, and full of hate, but it is ALSO a story about a demon and a vampire. :rolleyes: This does mean that their actions and morals will be different from humans. I can accept that in a horror story.

    Some minor errors, and also some bigger ones. Some were distracting. One was a huge pet peeve of mine, "Leila seen the dead man,". I know people who talk like that, and I want to go evil vampire on them and bite their throat! :mad: From your writing, I know that this was a mistake, but it was one that slipped through your editing.

    I can't say that I really liked this one, but I can see interesting possibilities in it. Two powerful families that are in an eternal war, forced together by the birth of a child. It could get interesting. :D
     
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  10. fantasysflirt

    fantasysflirt Active Member

    So...finish it and give to someone that is way better with grammar than me.
    More development of characters needed.
    And the past/present tenses...

    Was that it?
    Except for the whole hatred of violent rape thing.